By Amy Silverman
By Olivia LaVecchia
By Monica Alonzo and Stephen Lemons
By Chris Parker
By Michael Lacey
By Weston Phippen
That comes out to a tidy 100,000 owners at $1,000 a share.
So, why put down a grand or so on the Cards, other than to rid ourselves of Billy Bidwill?
As part-owner of the new Phoenix Cardinals (Question: Would we really have to call them the Cardinals anymore?), you'd get the following:
Use of a team trainer for 24-hour emergencies, including ankle taping, et cetera!
Rotating use of skyboxes. Drink booze openly!
Free dorm lodging in Flagstaff during pre-season!
Year-around parking privileges! (An ASU student will pay at least $1,200 in parking tickets during four-plus years at the school. This is a sound investment.)
Chauffeur services provided by Cardinals players!
Rotating training-table privileges: Eat with the players!
Rotating play-calling opportunities: You make the call!
During games, hobbled former quarterback Neil Lomax will personally hold a shade umbrella over your seat at Sun Devil Stadium!
Off-season use of Sun Devil Stadium's 150 color television sets!
Free coffee and donuts at the Cardinals front office!
Arizona Republic sports columnist Bob Hurt will regularly interview you and publicize your few strong points!!
The notion of owning a football team--especially this football team--may take some getting used to, according to a recent scientific survey conducted at Phoenix's Fish Market restaurant.
"You got to be kidding me," says Phoenix resident Joe Silvas. "Run this by me again. We buy a piece of the team? I can hardly afford to pay my bills, man. On the other hand, if we could get rid of Billy baby . . . "
Gary Randall, a real-estate broker from San Diego, chirps in: "We're having a hard time in San Diego winning any games, but I think we're better off than you guys. If I was living here and I had a thousand extra bucks to invest, yeah, I'd do it. I love pro football--at least I used to love [former Charger greats] Dan Fouts and Kellen (Winslow). I even liked [former Chargers owner] Gene Klein. How can anyone like Bill Bidwill?"
But Barbara Phelps ("I like winners--that's why I watch my nephew play for St. Mary's") won't have anything to do with buying out Bidwill.
"Between the Sun Devils and the Cardinals," she says, taking a break from a bowl of chowder, "I don't think I'd waste a penny.