How To Stuff A Wild Wahine

Kowabunga!

Ultimately, though, their "big" questions are the same as most adults'.
"Do you really get to eat out all the time?"
"Who picks the restaurant?"
"How big is your expense account?"

After hearing the answers, even a fairly bright fifth-grader appreciates that reviewing restaurants for a living may be one of the star jobs of all time. Why would anyone with such a position give it up of his own free will?

Frankly, one gives up restaurant reviewing for just about the same reason one gives up other jobs. Family responsibilities cause schedule conflicts; financial priorities need to be addressed; it's just existentially time to move on. Perhaps the one reason that is peculiar to restaurant reviewing is the strange angst derived from a sense that your life is channeling in a variation of the Hansel and Gretel story, and the witch is suddenly feeling your plump fingers with too much satisfaction as the oven warms.

In all sincerity, I do expect to look back at my sixteen-month tenure as New Times restaurant critic with great fondness. It's been a delicious pleasure to find and share so many good places around the Valley, and it's been equally rewarding to rat on a few culinary culprits operating kitchens without a clue. In all, I'm tempted to term the experience "enlightening," but that would just make the witch cackle.

I'd like to pass on best wishes to my successor, Penelope Corcoran, who will take over this column as of March 14. She'll really have to mind her peas and barbecues. You see, Penelope, the word is out about this job and there's already a pack of skilled (and hungry) pre-teens waiting to get their hands on your expense account.

Kowabunga!, 6202 North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale, 998-3505. Hours: 11 a.m. to 1 am., seven days a week.

Next week! Cap'n Dave introduces exciting guest columnist.

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