The Gospel According to Paul

Gregory: I don't know. I haven't visited them lately. It depends who makes the lasagna. That's pretty much the marriage chore.

Have you ever given your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend credit for writing one of your songs, even if he or she didn't contribute a word?

Smith: No, actually. But I've had boyfriends use my songs before. I got as much credit as could be given, although I've seen my songs being performed live before without even being dedicated to me. That hurt my feelings.

Griffith: They've been the inspiration for many, but they haven't gotten any credit, nor money.

Daly: All of 'em, starting now.

Are you, like Paul McCartney, a vegetarian?

Griffith: No way. Uh-uh.
Daly: I eat only corn-fed pork, like Paul McCartney.
Pendleton: No. I'm against killing plants.

Hall: Well, no, but I don't eat much red meat. I do eat poultry and other kinds of fowl.

Herod: No. I didn't know he was. It looks to me like he's got burger jowls.

Joseph: No. I'm eating a burrito right now, but it's a vegetarian burrito. But I eat meat all the time.

Gregory: I'm a vegetarian most of the time, except when I want to eat meat.

Would you play the part of John Lennon in a Beatles reunion?

Lien: Boy, that's a tough one. No, I wouldn't do it. I'd play Paul McCartney, though.

Griffith: Fuck yeah.
Daly: Only if they gave me a bulletproof vest.
Pendleton: Sure. I got round glasses.

Herod: That'd be the fun part to play, but I don't feel I could pull it off. I'd start laughing. I wouldn't be good enough. That guy had more talent. You can't pretend to have talent.

Joseph: Maybe George. My favorite was always George. I wouldn't play the part of John, even though I do wear glasses sometimes.

Gregory: I'd play his split personality, probably, if I could. Maybe the part where he had problems with clothes hangers or something like that. Maybe before he was a hippie, too.

Will you be attending the Paul McCartney show?

Smith: No. I can't afford it.
Lien: No. If I wanted to see him, I'd buy the video.
Griffith: My dad's got, like, five tickets through his work. He said if he doesn't sell them for $190 apiece, or whatever outrageous sum they're asking for, then he'll give them to me for free and I'll go.

Daly: In absentia.
Pendleton: No. I'll probably be in Los Angeles.
Allen: No. I'm playing at the Sun Club, so hopefully everybody who doesn't go there is gonna come to see us, or at least come afterwards.

Hall: No, because I don't hold a Visa card. I am one with American Express, and they don't take that. I won't be seeing Paul this year, but my mother's going.

Herod: No, 'cause I figure it'll be a big Las Vegas-style hoopla show with all kinds of extra instruments and back-up singers. He'll do "Yesterday" and expect everybody to light a lighter. People who never listen to the Beatles get McCartney tickets. Bill Heywood goes on KTAR, "Boy, that'll be great. I can't wait for Paul McCartney. That'll be a great show."

Joseph: No. I think I'd rather see the Temptations.
Gregory: No. I think I'm washing my hair that night.

"I figure he'll do `Yesterday' and expect everybody to light a lighter.