CHEAP SHOTS

A waste company is a terrible thing to mind, isn't it? Take ENSCO. Please. When the Arkansas company started buying full-page ads in Arizona newspapers a few weeks ago to spruce up its image, it couldn't even get its own logo right. Next to the ENSCO insignia (a bubble-like design that looks like toxic clouds) were the words "enviromental systems company." Hey, everybody makes typos, but do you get the feeling this company might not be too familiar with the word "environmental"? A PR worker at the company's HQ in Little Rock confirms that the words are part of the logo, so we're talking about a basic problem here. ENSCO's PR director was unavailable for comment on the snafu. His name? HUGH EARNEST. What else would it be? . . . Those puddles of asphalt you're currently sloshing through aren't stopping Valley tourism officials from putting up a brave front. Send off to the PHOENIX & VALLEY OF THE SUN CONVENTION & VISITORS BUREAU for a "SUMMER IS ®MDBU¯NO SWEAT!" merchandise discount card, and you get the card and this request: "This summer, try to say something nice about our city." Okay, here goes: The mercury's not supposed to hit four digits until next month! . . . Want something to look forward to during the upcoming dog days? Check out the "summer fund raiser" for J. FIFE SYMINGTON III. You're snickering at the idea of giving your moolah to a millionaire Republican developer so he can run your state? Well, the upside to this chi-chi, frou-frou, ga-ga exercise in plutocracy is that it's slated for swanky CHRISTOPHER'S BISTRO, and it's only $30 a person. And it's on July 15, the day after BASTILLE DAY. All you commoners, don't forget to bring your own guillotine! . . . You know that once-pleasing stretch of THOMAS ROAD near 12th STREET where the city is ripping those stately, cool oleander hedges to put in a stupid POINTE-like wall? Well, a few oleanders started accidentally sprouting again outside the wall. Memo to City Hall: Please have someone remove those little bushes immediately! Hurry before the whole city's in shade! . . . This week's PUBLIC SPIRIT AWARD goes directly to jail and probably doesn't even pass "go." The winner is PERRYVILLE inmate MICHAEL DAVID, who recently sent a check for $10 to ARIZONA SENATE Majority Leader JOHN MAWHINNEY. Why? As payment for room and board during the month of May. Sneering at the estimates that we pay more than $1,000 a month to clothe, feed and house him, the prisoner writes to Mawhinney: "Most of us would love to pay our way through this system, relieving the cost burden from the State of Arizona. However, we would at least request to `get what we pay for--care and treatment.' I therefore, with all due respect, send this $10, which covers the care and treatment I receive." Gee, is he being sarcastic? Is that a crime? Yikes!

TALES FROM THE DARK WEST SIDE TWO ANGRY ... v6-27-90

 
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