ARIZONA, HOME OF THE OK QUARREL

Status of feud: When the runners signed a five-year contract with the Coliseum, Colangelo went straight to the National Hockey League and arranged to have several big-league hockey matches played at his place this season. Them's fightin' words: "Here comes the Zamboni!" @rule:

@body:Feuding parties: Ticketmaster versus Dillard's Ticketing Systems. Nature of feud: Commercial.

Recent history of hostilities: Dillard's owned the town until the summer of 92, which is when Ticketmaster began local operations. Status of feud: Dillard's sells tickets for events at ASU's Activity Center and Gammage Auditorium, Phoenix Civic Center, Herberger Theater, the Sundome, America West Arena, Mesa Amphitheatre and Compton Terrace. The upstart Ticketmaster handles a few lesser venues, including Celebrity Theatre, Scottsdale Center for the Arts and several smaller nightclubs, but has a lock on the busiest local concert venue, Blockbuster Desert Sky Pavilion.

Them's fightin' words: "Who needs tickets?" @rule:
@body:Feuding parties: Phunk Junkeez versus Gin Blossoms.
Nature of feud: Phunk Junkeez are popular local white-boy rappers who play to hundreds of clubgoers every week. The Blossoms get played on MTV and have a gold record. Recent history of hostilities: In an interview with New Times contributor David Koen, Phunk Junkee Joe Valiente labeled the Blossoms sellouts. "They've got no heart and no balls," he said. Status of feud: The Blossoms' record seems to be headed for platinum. Them's fightin' words: In a letter to New Times following the Junkeez profile, Blossoms front man Robin Wilson wrote to ask, "Who the hell are the Phunk Junkeez?"

@rule:
@body:Feuding parties: Dimitri Drobatschewsky versus James Sedares. Nature of feud: Drobatschewsky, the Arizona Republic's sublimely authoritative classical-music critic, occasionally finds fault with the Phoenix Symphony, conducted by Sedares, who doesn't take criticism well. Recent history of hostilities: Dimitri's review of the last symphony show of the season--printed beneath the headline "PSO season ends with a whimper"--took issue with the maestro's use of ritardando during the third movement of Beethoven's Fifth. "The season ended unimpressively with an all-orchestral program featuring a war-horse," wrote the critic, "offered in an execution that was no better than a ho-hum effort."

Status of feud: Drobatschewsky, writing later about the ork's upcoming schedule, said, "The most sensational event of the 93-94 season is a concert in which the orchestra does not participate," actually a solo recital by Anne-Sophie Mutter. Them's fightin' words: "And a-one, and a-two. . . .