Crack is no Afro-disiac. At best, you're "schemin' on a blowjob" from a fellow basehead. Like the man says, "Yo!! I'm better off with my hand!"

Ugly Parting Wish
Francis Albert's living hell--an outstanding bar tab and no one to buy him another round.

The album closes with "Things in Space." But where are the Martian monsters? They're in your house! Run! Run!

May we never live through the Seventies again. Ugly wish, indeed. The last track, "Peace and Quiet," is a plea from Mister Rogers for more of the same. Like his neighborhood isn't already an aboveground crypt!

Imagine the diabolical laughter spewing from Brooke Shields when Michael whimpered "You Are the Lady of My Life" to her. Toe-curling!

We're all gonna die--but some of us gonna get pushed into an oncoming subway train!

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