WHO KILLED BOB CRANE? WHO CARES?

There was a time when Bob Crane was even more famous than O.J. Simpson. But that was years ago, and our memories are short.

Crane's every movement was noted with a sort of breathless wonder by gossip columnists across the country. If Crane was seen in the company of a starlet, if he dined at a new restaurant, even if he caught the flu, it was dutifully reported. Often, the item was illustrated with a smiling photograph of Crane wearing an Air Force officer's cap.

Before there was Burt Reynolds, there was Bob Crane. For newspapers, he was a salable commodity. He was the star of Hogan's Heroes, a popular comedy about the Second World War.

If Crane had been bludgeoned to death during those halcyon days, the trial of his accused killer would have taken on heroic proportions. It would not be in the same league with the Simpson trial, but it would have been very big in the National Enquirer. The case certainly would have played to packed courtrooms and been heavily covered by national television. Instead, the trial of Crane's accused killer was a theatrical flop. It took place in virtual obscurity. If the proceedings had been a play, the cast would have taken its final curtain call before it reached Broadway.

The lesson is immutable. Bob Crane's era is long past. No one cares who killed him any longer.

The actor's fame had dimmed after Hogan's Heroes came out of the weekly listings in TV Guide. For the remaining years of his life, Crane was obliged to keep a stiff upper lip and wander around the country playing for reduced paychecks at local dinner theatres. Crane's name was still a draw. But it was nothing like the glory days, when he was on national television every week and came into homes across the country. There were the reruns, of course. Somewhere in the world, they are still actually running. But for Crane, it was never the same. He had reached the top, and now he was on the way down.

Insensitive fans sometimes asked: "Didn't you used to be Bob Crane?"
No one any longer recalls what stage roles he played in the minor leagues of Scottsdale. It would be like asking what play was being performed the night Abraham Lincoln was dispatched at Ford's Theater.

But playing the lead in a local stage bit was an easy gig for Crane. He never took much pride in his acting, anyway; it was effortless. The money kept him going in the style to which he had become accustomed. There was even a dividend. The constant roaming about gave him the opportunity to meet a lot of new women--many of them vulnerable and star-struck.

Crane's chief running mate during his final descent into sleaze was John Carpenter--a classic hanger-on who traded on his friendship with Crane to get what is referred to as a little action with Crane's women. The women were attracted to Crane's celebrity status, and Carpenter always turned up with the woman Crane determined was second best. Sometimes, they shared the same women.

People develop strange hobbies. Wherever Crane traveled, he brought along a tripod and a video camera so he could memorialize his hotel-room conquests and perhaps even savor them at a later date. Crane was quite a piece of work.

It is never a surprise when men like Crane are bludgeoned to death in their beds. The only astonishing thing is that they survive for so long. Crane was 49 when he met his maker while dozing on June 29, 1978.

You may wonder, then, why it took until 1992--14 years later--to charge Carpenter with the crime. First of all, the initial investigation was bungled by the Scottsdale police. Carpenter was finally arrested only after prosecutors decided that photos taken of Carpenter's rental car showed the presence of fatty tissue from Crane's body. They also claimed there were blood smears on the car's passenger-door panel.

But perhaps the vital force behind charging Carpenter with the crime was politics. Rick Romley was running for reelection as county attorney. Charging the killer of Bob Crane would give the ever-ambitious Romley, then worried about job security, an opportunity to demonstrate his desire to track evil malefactors to the ends of the Earth. Romley won his election. But that left his office stuck with the duty to get a conviction on only minuscule evidence.

Nothing that came out during the course of the lengthy trial was a surprise to anyone. There was, however, an uncomfortably prurient day when Judge Gregory Martin allowed the prosecution to show both Crane and Carpenter having simultaneous sex in bed with the same women. The prosecution denied it was attempting to prejudice the jury against Carpenter. With straight faces, prosecutors contended their only intention was to show not the sex scene but a tripod in the background that they claimed was the murder weapon.

This is charmingly disingenuous. It would be like claiming the director had filmed King Kong holding Fay Wray aloft in his hand on top of the Empire State Building only to show the New York skyline.

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  • White Monkey 06/17/2011 10:56:00 AM

    All i can say to the procurer of this article is, "WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE 29th JUNE 1978" Seems you know more than you should,and,should be INVESTIGATED

  • Carol Ford 01/24/2010 4:32:00 PM

    Who cares who killed Bob Crane? Seriously? How about family. How about friends. How about co-workers. How about fans. As a human being, Bob's life had value and worth. To say 'Bob Crane got what he so richly deserved' makes you judge, jury, and executioner all in the same foul breath. Truth is, Bob Crane deserved better. And at the very least, he deserves better than what you have published. Next time you decide to hurl stones from that glass house of yours, know your subject and learn to separate truth from salacious hype. A course in basic humanity wouldn't hurt, either.

  • Linda Groundwater 09/28/2009 10:57:00 AM

    Wow. "He got what he so richly deserved." So you know all about him, do you? Understand addiction and what he was going through? Never had a bad habit, no matter how unacceptable to anyone else, yourself? Because he wasn't as famous as he had been any more when he was killed doesn't mean he deserves to be so disparaged by people who do nothing more than make money out of demeaning the memories of other people. I know this is an opinion piece, and you're welcome to your opinion, no matter how old this is... but it sure doesn't reveal you as much of a human being!

  • James 01/16/2009 6:49:00 PM

    No one deserves to be bludgeoned like that.I find it hard to accept your smart aleck style of writing.Are you one of The Puritans?What gives you the right to judge.That's like saying Hugh Hefener should be bludgeoned for loving the ladies.Rude writing and no one deserves to be blugeoned like that.We still care about who muedered Bob Crane,they are still talking avbout the Black Dahlia case.You're remarks are cruel.Puritan.

  • AJ 09/21/2008 2:29:00 PM

    So much for an unbiased article here huh? What else should be rewarded with a good bludgeoning I wonder? Alcoholism? Drug addiction? Who wrote this crap??

  • Jack 12/22/2007 11:07:00 AM

    that is messed up, how could the writer say, that Bob Crane got what he deserved. Is the a writer a psychopath or what? That is truly disgusting.

 
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