ASK DR. CRIME LAB

"I said 'What you mean? Give me another 50 bucks.'
"He says 'This is mine now, I paid you 50 bucks for it. Get out my truck!'
"I know I can sell this within an hour, I'm not taking 50 bucks for it. So we get out and start fighting over this. But remember now, this is bricks. We're actually fighting over bricks.

"The lady who works in the library comes out and says, 'Wait a minute! What are you people doing?'

"I say, 'He's trying to take my VCR!'
"And she says, 'Well, what do you want for it?'
"I tell her I want $100 for it, and he only gave me $50. She says, 'Give his $50 back, and I'll give you $100 for it.' "He doesn't want to do this, so we're still wrastlin' over it, and she goes and calls the police. They come, and I tell them what happened, but I guess the detective that came had been exposed to this before; he looked at it and told the guy to get in his truck and leave; told the lady she couldn't buy it. They handcuffed me and took me down to the station.

"They told me they didn't want to see me doing that around there no more, but I know people that do this 10 or 15 times a day."

So there you have it, the VCR-brick sting fully revealed. If any of you have other crime-related questions, write in and let Dr. Crime Lab repay his debt to society by keeping the Good out there alert to the Bad and the Ugly. The Doctor has learned the hard way how to make life easier for you. This is 1995, remember, and sometimes owning a dog that barks loud just isn't enough. Rest assured that your queries will get lengthy, thoughtful analysis; Dr. Crime Lab has plenty of time on his hands.

As he told me before I headed back out into the sunny world of females, lobster dinners and consensual sex, "I don't think I'll be out of here for a long time.