Interview With a Vampire. Sort Of.

"When I had my home set up in here [he now spends most of his time in vampire-friendly New Orleans], I had a lot of close friends, but not many of them could sit in my house for very long. The atmosphere was a bit too intense, with altars and caskets and spider webs, no natural light, just candles," says Clark.

"So in order for my friends to come over to my house, I'd have to come over to their house and watch a cheesy TV show, eat a TV dinner, sit in a new apartment with new furniture, drink beer. That's terrifying to me."
Guess what Doug's favorite day of the year is? That's right-Easter! Not really, it's Halloween. This year, he's going to be the Spirit of Death. "His name is Ezreal; I will be the Angel of Darkness." I don't think they sell that one at Walgreens, but Doug tells me he's got a black shroud, custom made, ready to go. What, is that it?

For the first time all night, he really cracks up, into a screaming grin breaking the composed deathmask countenance. "Isn't a black shroud enough?! Does this face look like it needs a mask??"

At this stage, Clark says he makes most his his living from music. He's got a new project, a band called Chapel d'Amour, and the lead singer is a kindred soul, "someone who projects vampirism through his art and music and poetry. He lives in Oregon, and his name is Elad Draner." Which is Dale Renard backward. Elad sounds like a dedicated individual; Doug reveals he has even "had medical problems in the past from consuming blood and alcohol."

Clark has also just released a Mighty Sphincter EP, House of No Return, on his own Ghoul Agency label, with three original compositions. To those unfamiliar with the moody goth rock of the band, the name alone may be a turnoff, a teenage joke. No way.

"It actually has a deep meaning," confides Doug. "The sphincter is a valve that opens and closes, and we are that in the essence, in that we feel we can open up the gates of life and death like a mighty sphincter that opens and closes. So that a person who can't normally see the world of the dead, the world of darkness--we can open it up so they can see it."
Well, I've seen plenty, and, yeah, though I have walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Doug Clark's condo in Mesa, I fear no evil. He is a benign spirit. "I feel whatever one does or enjoys while they're in this short life to make themselves happy, more power to them," says Doug, "as long as they don't hurt someone else." I shake his hand before departing, his skin is warm, his grip is firm. Just like a real human.--Gilstrap