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And while you're at it, forget about Heart's latest flat line. Let's be honest here--the only reason anyone even pays attention to the Wilson sisters anymore is to see what kooky device they'll come up with next to conceal Ann Wilson's inexorable weight gain.

First, Heart's video directors took to scrunching up the screen whenever Ann was in a shot and returning it to normal dimensions whenever svelte Nancy held court. Duh! That sure fooled us! Then Heart's last album cover split the Wilson girls' faces down the middle--as if halving Ann's double chin would make us think she only had one.

Now, the Heart camp is reduced to showing prepubescent photographs of the girls, when excess tonnage wasn't a career-threatening concern. What's next, infrared photos of Ann as an embryo? What are they so afraid of? If people mistake Ann Wilson for Carnie Wilson, someone might at least give her a copycat Ricki Lake talk show of her own! Better that to prop up a fading career than an album with (will it never end?) "unplugged" versions of "These Dreams" and "Barracuda."--Serene Dominic

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