Righteous Paths

Overwhelmed by the cornucopia of bands and venues on the table at the New Times Music Awards Showcase? This fun quiz is here to help!

It's easy: Just read the statements below and score each for how closely it describes your primary musical tastes, lifestyle and present state of mind. Then circle your top pick and let the corresponding itinerary be your guide. Why stress over making decisions when you can just follow along? (And, hey, would we steer you wrong?)

Score each statement
1 to 1,000,000 points:

"I want to flay my eardrums."
1. Freudian Slip @ Ziggy's Sports Grill
2. N17 @ Gibson's
3. Bullyrag @ Ziggy's Sports Grill
4. Nihil @ Valley Art Theatre (inside)

"I like sax, but not violins."
1. Warsaw @ Gibson's
2. Stone Circle @ Mill Cue Club
3. Kongo Shock @ Hayden Square or Polliwog @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)
4. Rusty Jones @ McDuffy's
"I regularly wear a cowboy hat and python boots, or wish I did."
1. Suicide Kings @ Hayden Square
2. Ronnie Dye Band @ McDuffy's

3. The Burnlackers @ Valley Art Theatre (inside) or Earl C. Whitehead & the Grievous Angels @ Fat Tuesday

4. Barrio Latino @ Valley Art Theatre (inside)

"I just want to see a lot of body piercings."
1. Godless @ Valley Art Theatre (inside)
2. N17 @ Gibson's
3. Zig Zag Black @ Gibson's
4. Nihil @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)

"I'm here to get down, cat."
1. Honeybucket @ Balboa Cafe
2. Stone Circle @ Mill Cue Club
3. Polliwog @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)
4. Yoko Love @ Fat Tuesday

"I wish I was on a cruise ship."
1. Grant Man and Island Beat
@ Mill Cue Club
2. Caliente @ The Owl's Nest
3. Touch @ Mill Cue Club
4. Walt Richardson and Morning Star @ Hayden Square

"I just want to hear some of that rock 'n' roll music."
1. Freudian Slip @ Ziggy's Sports Grill
2. Oil @ Fat Tuesday
3. The Sport Model @ The Owl's Nest
4. Jesus Chrysler Supercar @ Balboa Cafe

"I got the blues today."
1. Hans Olson @ The Owl's Nest or Sistah Blue @ Fat Tuesday
2. Hoodoo Kings @ Hayden Square
3. Big Pete Pearson and the Blues Sevilles @ McDuffy's
4. Patti Williams and Delerious @ Beeloe's

"I'm stoned."
1. Fred Green @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)
2. Z-Trip @ Club 411
3. Zebbhi Niyah @ Beeloe's
4. Yoko Love @ Fat Tuesday

"I want to see some sisters doing it for themselves."
1. Sistah Blue @ Fat Tuesday
2. Slugger @ Valley Art Theatre (inside)
3. Polliwog @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)

4. Sherry Roberson @ Mill Cue Club or Patti Williams and Delerious @ Beeloe's or Mad At 'Em @ Ziggy's Sports Grill

"I went to a rave last night, and I'm still awake."
1. R.C. Lair @ Club 411
2. Stone Circle @ Mill Cue Club
3. Markus Schulz/Kevin Brown @ Club 411

4. Walt Richardson and Morning Star @ Hayden Square (if you're ready to chill out) or Pete Salaz @ Club 411 (if the party's still going)

"I think of the Holy Trinity as Coltrane, Monk and Davis."
1. Lady J and Blues Ratio @ BEELOE'S
2. ODD MAN OUT @ BEELOE'S
3. NUANCE JAZZ ENSEMBLE @ BALBOA CAFE
4. SHERRY ROBERSON @ MILL CUE CLUB

"I LIKE LATIN LINGO, BABY."
1. STRAIGHT UP @ MCDUFFY'S
2. CALIENTE @ THE OWL'S NEST
3. TOUCH @ MILL CUE CLUB
4. BARRIO LATINO @ VALLEY ART THEATRE (INSIDE)

"I WANT TO HEAR THE VALLEY MUSIC SCENE'S BEST KEPT SECRETS."
1. GODLESS @ VALLEY ART THEATRE (INSIDE)
2. STONE CIRCLE @ MILL CUE CLUB
3. THE SPORT MODEL @ THE OWL'S NEST
4. RUSTY JONES @ MCDUFFY'S

"I WANT TO CATCH THE BUZZ BANDS."
1. Hans Olson @ The Owl's Nest
2. Chronic Future @ Valley Art Theatre (outside) or Z-Trip @ Club 411
3. Kongo Shock @ Hayden Square
4. Know Qwestion @ Gibson's

Still vacillating? Hell with it. Here are two multigenre grab bags put together by New Times music editor David Holthouse. Just flip a coin.

1. Fred Green @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)
2. Z-Trip @ Club 411
3. The Sport Model @ The Owl's Nest
4. Know Qwestion @ Gibson's

1. Suicide Kings @ Hayden Square
2. N17 @ Gibson's
3. Polliwog @ Valley Art Theatre (outside)
4. Patti Williams & Delerious @ Beeloe's

 
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