By Melissa Fossum
By Lauren Wise
By New Times
By Amanda Savage
By Jason P. Woodbury
By Troy Farah
By New Times
Trashman's Worst of 1997, or Suggested Stocking Stuffers for Insufferable Simpletons:
"All the Hits," reads the sticker attached to the shrink wrap of Warrant's latest release, on which newly corpulent crooner Jani Lane asks midway through this set: "Are you ready to rock?" Huh?
One's ears are not crossing any borders during '86-'97 Live, which is a pastiche of live recordings burped out by faded oracles of pomp rock, whose musical talent for neutralizing the spirit-raising effects of rock 'n' roll is unequaled in the music business. Get it?
Hear in the New Frontier
Lyrics with silly, sixth-grade sidewalk slogans, pompous Descartes references and unresearched, two-bit social commentary mixed musically with wank-guitar musing and leftover prog prat is but buffalo poop. And if that blows your skirt up, then, well . . .
Be Here Now
Of course, the members of Oasis, being the forthright R-N-R statesmen that they are, completely miss the point, don't they? Arrogance is their stock in trade, and that is why they get away with making the same album three times, each worse than the previous. Blah.
I didn't even listen to this, and I still hated it.
Trial by Fire
The quack-rock practitioners of Journey return for another round of whitewashed pop pap, but profoundly (and beautifully) fail to relive those feeble, feathered-hair days of yore.