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Flashes

Continued from page 1

Published on January 01, 1998

September 18--Eddie Basha is annoyingly noble.
September 26--Clancy and Tropiano are gravely injured when a giant name is dropped on them.

October 14--Riding a crest of five straight wins, the Cardinals sell out North High Stadium.

October 19--Rick DeBruhl shaves off his unibrow.
November 3--In a shocking development, Dan Harkins is elected governor on the campaign theme: "A cineplex in every home." All the Paul Johnsons become organ donors.

November 10--New East Valley landmark: TRW Crater.
November 12--Art Hamilton yawns.
December 5--Tempe officials announce they will begin franchising their form of government.

December 7--The USS Arizona remains sunken.
December 19--Midway through one of his touching holiday TV ads, Lou Grubb spits and cusses like a sailor for 20, 25 seconds straight.

December 22--Arpaio donates his hair to science.
December 24--Scientists announce that Arpaio's hair could provide the power needs of Nevada for several months.

December 25--The Fifester escapes by hiding in a melon truck.
December 30--Pat McMahon is made into glue.
December 31--Arpaio is found, horrifically pecked to death by emus.

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