Calendar for the week

thursday
march 5
Robert Schimmel: The Phoenix-based comic, currently touring in support of his ironically titled CD Robert Schimmel Comes Clean, talks frankly about sex and other social taboos, in the tradition of Carlin, Pryor and Bruce. He performs at 8 p.m. Thursday, March 5; 8 and 10 p.m. Friday, March 6; 8 and 10 p.m. Saturday, March 7; and 8 p.m. Sunday, March 8, at the Tempe Improv Comedy Theater, 930 East University (at Cornerstone mall). 921-9877.

Personals: Marta Kauffman and David Crane, co-creators of the TV series Friends, wrote the book for this musical about the dating misadventures of six singles; Michael Skloff, Alan Menken (Beauty and the Beast) and Stephen Schwartz (Godspell) wrote the music. Theater League presents the production. Opening performances are at 8 p.m. Thursday, March 5; and the same time Friday, March 6; and Saturday, March 7; and 2 p.m. Sunday, March 8, at the Viad Playhouse on the Park. Tickets are available at Dillard's for $17.50 and $21.50. The run continues through Sunday, April 26. 1850 North Central. 503-5555.

The Radio Kings: Growler Brian Templeton and his Boston-based blues-roots act play a release show for their Bullseye album Money Road on Thursday, March 5, at the Rhythm Room, 1019 East Indian School. The cover is $4. 265-4842.

friday
march 6
Earth Dances: Ballet Arizona continues its season with this program of ritual dances. Michael Uthoff's "Murmurs in the Stream" is set to Chilean folk tunes; "Voices in Stone," an ode to the American Southwest, is danced to music by Brent Michael Davids and the poetry of Ramson Lomatewama; and a commissioned work, called "Transitions," is by Jawole Willa Jo Zollar of the Urban Bush Women of New York. Opening performances are at 8 p.m. Friday, March 6; 8 p.m. Saturday, March 7; and 2 p.m. Sunday, March 8, in Center Stage at Herberger Theater Center, 222 East Monroe. Tickets range from $10.50 to $34.50, available at the center and Dillard's. The run continues through Sunday, March 15. 252-8497 or 503-5555.

Air Show Spectacular: The aerial portion of this annual event will include appearances and/or aerobatic demonstrations by Red Baron Stearman Squadron and Tora Tora Tora, a squadron of eight replicas of Japanese warplanes, which will reenact the attack on Pearl Harbor. On the non-Axis side, Greg Poe's Crucial Technology EDGE 540 single-engine monoplane will show off, a C-130 Transport used to fight forest fires will be demonstrated, and the AH-64D Apache Longbow helicopter will make its first-ever public appearance. Aviation nuts should find it aphrodisiacal. On terra firma, monster vehicles Robosaurus, Bigfoot, Gravedigger, Monster Patrol and Snakebite are the big draws. The show runs from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday, March 6; and the same hours Saturday, March 7; and Sunday, March 8, at Williams Gateway Airport, 6001 South Power in Mesa. Tickets, available at Ticketmaster, are $7.50, free for kids 3 to 10. 774-9355, 784-4444, 988-1013.

Paragon Ragtime Orchestra: These vintage-music specialists perform two shows: "Scott Joplin and the Original Kings of Ragtime," featuring hits of the '20s, both by the title composer and by Klickmann and Sousa, at 8 p.m. Friday, March 6; and "The Charlie Chaplin Film Festival," which accompanies the silent clown's shorts The Adventurer, The Rink and The Immigrant, at 8 p.m. Saturday, March 7, at Scottsdale Center for the Arts, 7380 East Second Street. The Joplin evening also includes a short silent film; missing any chance to see silent cinema with live music is ill-advised. Tickets are $20 or $24 for each show. 994-2787 (SCA), 784-4444 (Ticketmaster).

Rhinoceros: Planet Earth Theatre presents Jared Sakren's production of Eugene Ionesco's absurdist parable about conformity--the people of the world start changing into rhinos, and slowly those who wish to stay human come to feel like outcasts. Opening performances are at 7 p.m. Friday, March 6; and the same time Saturday, March 7; Sunday, March 8; and Wednesday, March 11, at Planet Earth Theatre, 909 North Third Street. Tickets are $10, $8 for students and seniors. 521-6278.

Phoenix Holistic Health Expo: The fifth annual event, which includes more than 60 lecturers and workshops ranging from herbalism and aromatherapy to Mars/Venus relationship therapy, is slated for noon to 9 p.m. Friday, March 6; noon to 9 p.m. Saturday, March 7; and noon to 6 p.m. Sunday, March 8, in Exhibit Hall E at Phoenix Civic Plaza, Second Street and Adams. Admission is $6, $3 for students and seniors; it's free with a $2 donation to the Student Scholarship Fund from noon to 5 p.m. Friday, 6 to 9 p.m. Saturday and noon to 1 p.m. Sunday. 287-8972.

Phoenix Gem and Mineral Show: Maricopa Lapidary Society sponsors the 49th annual event, at which jewelry, gems, minerals, lapidary art, fossils, slabs, gemstones, wirewrapping, books, beads and findings, door prizes, grab bags, spinning wheels and gold panning are all displayed, demonstrated and/or sold. The event is scheduled for 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, March 6; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday, March 7; and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, March 8, at Mountain Preserve Reception and Conference Center, 1431 East Dunlap. Admission is $4, free for kids 12 and under with an adult. 267-1926.

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy: The cocktail-core group, best known for its cameo in the film Swingers, takes the stage at 7 p.m. Friday, March 6, at Gibson's, 410 South Mill in Tempe. Paul Maranto of the Phoenix Academy of Ballroom Dancing is scheduled to be on hand to provide swing dance lessons. 967-1234.

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