By New Times
By Derek Askey
By Mark Deming
By Serene Dominic
By Jason Keil
By Robrt L. Pela and Amy Silverman
By Jeff Moses
By Serene Dominic
To sleep better at night, I suggest the Goo Goo Dolls put aside a bit of this Top 40 cash for the children of Johnny Thunders.
#91. George Michael, Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael (Epic): Cocksure English queen and a career relaunching song courtesy of doughy, overmothered white boys with bong slouches is what spells the American Top 40 these days, Casey.
T. = MEANS THEY HAD HAIR TRANSPLANTS
E. = MEANS THEY HAVE HAIR EXTENSIONS
W. = MEANS THEY HAVE A COMPLETELY FULL FUNCTIONAL WIG
B. = MEANS THEY ARE BALD AS A CUE BALL, SLICK AND SMOOTH
H. = MEANS THEY WEAR A HEAD BAND/HAT AND ARE TRYING TO HIDE IT
More than one symbol means they have a combo thing going on!
Some of these people might not be currently wearing wigs, but they have been known to wear wigs in the past.
PAUL STANLEY/KISS = W. (TOTAL WIG SINCE THE EARLY 80's, AT LEAST)
GENE SIMMONS/KISS = T.E. (HE'S NOT AS BUMMED AS PAUL IS BUT HAS HAD SOME WORK DONE)
JANI LANE/WARRANT = T. (USED TO HAVE A WIG IN THE "HEAVEN" VIDEO) BRET MICHAELS/POISON = T.H. (USED TO HAVE EXTENSIONS AND HAS SOME SHIT WORKED ON UP THERE)
DAVID LEE ROTH = E.T. (DAVE'S HAD QUITE A BATTLE WITH THE FOLLICLES)
MICK MARS/MOTLEY CRUE = W. (AWESOME ELVIRA WIG, PERFECT FOR ANY HALLOWEEN)
KEVIN DUBROW/QUIET RIOT = W. (HE WAS 80-PERCENT BALD IN 1983 AND NOW LOOK!)
Windows of Heaven
Nothing can better describe this than the lyric from the Paul Kantner song titled "The Light":
"She awoke with a start from a dream of stars/'Let's talk metaphysics,' she said in her BVDs/She didn't need comfort, just some verbal intercourse/A dance around the Intelligence Tree."
Contact Bill Blake at his online address: firstname.lastname@example.org