And if that doesn't sate your craving for things old and vintage, there's always the Desert Spring '99 Antiques Show and Sale, hosted by Valley of the Sun Antique Dealers Association. The event, which will feature furniture, primitives, silver, porcelain, glass, quilts, jewelry, folk art and collectibles, is scheduled from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Friday, March 12; 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturday, March 13; and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, March 14, in the pavilion at Embassy Suites hotel, 5001 North Scottsdale Road in Scottsdale. Admission is $5; a $100 gift certificate is given away daily as a door prize. 964-6006.
Miss Thing herself, Olympic medalist Nancy Kerrigan, plays Sandy in Grease on Ice, the chilled version of the American musical theater's seemingly indestructible paean to high school conformity. Put it on skates, and entertainment doesn't get much more kitschy than this. If only they could have gotten Tonya Harding to play Rizzo! I can hear it now--"There are worse things I could do/I could whack a knee or two . . ." By the way, has anybody observed that the high school kids who seem to take the most joy in Grease tend to be precisely the sort of dweebs that the Pink Ladies would ignore and the T-Birds would beat the crap out of? Anyway, performances of Grease on Ice are at 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 12; 3 and 7 p.m. Saturday, March 13; and 2 p.m. Sunday, March 14, at Veterans' Memorial Coliseum, located at the Arizona State Fairgrounds, 19th Avenue and McDowell. Tickets range from $15.50 to $50. 258-6711, 503-5555.
The 11th annual homage to fast, flightless, funny-looking avians, the Chandler Arizona Ostrich Festival includes bird and pig races; the Ostrich Festival Parade (10 a.m. Saturday, March 13); concerts by the likes of Loverboy, Cheap Trick and Freddy Fender; carnival rides and games; and more. Hours are noon to 11 p.m. Friday, March 12; 9 a.m. to 11 p.m. Saturday, March 13; and 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday, March 14. Events are centered on the intersection of Arizona Avenue and Chandler Boulevard. Admission is free, but fees are charged for rides and races. 963-4571.
Feast of Fools Theatre presents Assassins, Stephen Sondheim's musical celebration of American political murder and attempted murder. Opening performances are at 8 p.m. Friday, March 12; 8 p.m. Saturday, March 13; and 2 p.m. Sunday, March 14, at the New School for the Arts, 7475 East McDowell in Scottsdale. 256-7898.
Conveniently in time to compare and contrast with the new modern-dress film version Cruel Intentions (see the film section for the review), Christopher Hampton's stage adaptation of Pierre Choderlos de Laclos' Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Dangerous Liaisons) continues Stagebrush Theatre's season. Opening performances are at 8 p.m. Friday, March 12; 8 p.m. Saturday, March 13; 2 p.m. Sunday, March 14; and 7:30 p.m. Wednesday, March 17, at the theater, 7020 East Second Street in Scottsdale. Tickets are $11 and $12. The run continues through Sunday, March 28. 990-7405.
The great Muhammad Ali is once again scheduled to make a special appearance at "Fight Night at the Ritz," which begins with a reception followed by dinner at 6 p.m. Saturday, March 13, at the Ritz-Carlton, 24th Street and Camelback. Apart from Ali, the evening's major attractions are the "fights" between area celebrities for such charities as Phoenix Charities and Boys and Girls Clubs of Metropolitan Phoenix. In past years, the likes of Kenny Rogers, Louis Gossett Jr., Barry Manilow, Jason Kidd, Jake Plummer, Alice Cooper, Don Knotts, Sugar Ray Leonard, Paula Abdul and Kerri Strug have duked it out; last year the prospect of this sort of bizarre pop-culture juxtaposition was enough to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars. Tickets, if any are still available, are $600 per person; tables start at a cool $6,000. 956-7111.
Hungarian slap dances and Chinese women's dances are both in the repertoire of the Brigham Young University Folk Dance Ensemble. Sponsored by Southwest Dance, the company performs at 8 p.m. Saturday, March 13, at Chandler Center for the Arts, 250 North Arizona Avenue; and the same time Monday, March 15, at the Orpheum Theatre, 203 West Adams. Tickets range from $20 to $24, less for students and seniors. Call 482-6410 (Southwest Dance), 786-2680 (CCA), 503-5555 or 784-4444.
Valley poet, performance artist and radio personality Mary McCann "The Bone Mama" performs at this month's edition of the Divergent Arts Poetry Series, at 7 p.m. Sunday, March 14, at Long Wong's Live, 3623 East Indian School. Her work is hinted to include a seasonal touch of the Irish. An open-mike session follows. Admission is free; donations are accepted. 947-0371.