Uncover Girl

Doin' the town with a porn queen, a record weasel and a big bong

"I love sex," Raylene says, laughing with a kind of stoner's guffaw. "And it's paying pretty well."

Brian Gross is a onetime NAU student who wrote for the NAU student newspaper and DJ'd at the school's radio station. Gross is a tireless sort who could sell air if he had to. He seemingly bounces off walls while taking care of Raylene.

"The NAU radio station was the most anal-retentive college radio station in the country," says the 23-year-old PR man in a rapid-fire whir befitting his vocation. "While Arizona is a great state and all, it was time to head back to the coast and pursue my dreams. I hear to go back to Flagstaff now is really depressing. These strip malls and such things. After NAU, I worked on Lollapalooza, at a couple of record labels [Elektra, Warner Bros. and Reprise], and now the largest adult-entertainment company in the world. I went from working with Filter and Barenaked Ladies to Janine and Raylene. Some of the most intense beautiful girls in the world. Rock star, porn star -- one is just a lot better looking than the other."

Raylene poses for the cover of POPsmear's Halloween issue.
Paolo Vescia
Raylene poses for the cover of POPsmear's Halloween issue.
Paolo Vescia

The next day, Vlautin is hung over. He wants to be back home in L.A.

Insane Clown Posse is late for its photo shoot with Raylene. In fact, faulty directions ensure everybody shows up late. The POPsmear photographer and his assistant move around the room hurriedly, figuring the colors and angles. Lots of sitting around and waiting. The Donnas, and Sweet blare from a blaster.

When Raylene arrives, she readies herself directly in the dressing area. She applies makeup like a pro. She has with her an elaborate assembly of Halloweenesque costumes.

At one point during a shoot, while waiting for the Insane guys, she has to pull off the garish cape that is causing her to sweat so profusely under the lights.

"Everybody turn around," she says mockingly as she pulls the cape off. Her implanted money-makers fall forth in all their gravity-defying glory.

I leave before the Insane Clown Posse arrives, thinking that they missed the shoot. Later, I hear, they do pull in and it all goes well.

When Raylene makes the flight back to L.A., the plunger-shaped bong is inadvertently left behind. That expensive piece of equipment she carried around the night before like some piece of detachable anatomy will spend the rest of the day in the dark trunk of a cab.

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