Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Skunk Anansie
Post Orgasmic Chill
(Virgin)

For something as irredeemable as this, at least one moronic A&R dweeb had to have been overheard in some Virgin Records office crowing, "Seriously, this is the new Patti Smith Group, only updated. Dig it, this band's singer is a real poet, and she's bald!"

Duffer Jani Lane and his down boys. Still preserving the integrity of blond bimbos everywhere.

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But the world really has no use for the failed songwriting ambitions of insufferable "rock" bands. But for those who must have their "cutting-edge" rock, look no further. At least the record is deserving of a gold star for title accuracy. (The Portrait of the Artist as a Serious Young Polysexual alert: The singer is some toothy, transgenderish thing that looks like a cross between Grace Jones and the crackhead from Diff'rent Strokes. What's more, she sings in a staccato chirp that makes Lene Lovich sound like Bobby Goldsboro.)

Various artists
Appetite for Reconstruction:
A Tribute to Guns N' Roses
(Deadline Records/Cleopatra)

For once I am going to follow the advice I received in a letter a while back from some dude living in Oklahoma. He wrote, "Shitface -- Why do you say things that are intentionally negative? I suggest if you can't express anything positive then don't write at all."

Okay.

But I will be kind enough to give you a partial listing of those contributing covers to this fabulous compilation. Quiet Riot's meritorious Kevin Dubrow tackles "Welcome to the Jungle"; über-slim Tamie Downe from Faster Pussycat gifts "It's So Easy"; L.A. Guns' Phil Lewis plunges into "My Michele"; Steve Rochelle, late of the perennially tough Tuff boons "You're Crazy"; and Steve Summers from those fun-loving debauchers Pretty Boy Floyd earmarks "Think About You."

Contact Bill Blake at his online address: nttrash@yahoo.com