Gimmick Shelter

Desserts included a fine Guard Tower Cheesecake. The smart choice after a big meal, though, was the Prison Portion Brownie Sundae, three bites of brownie and three of vanilla ice cream drizzled with fudge, all for $1.95.

My favorite dish at Alcatraz, however, was the Tent City Caesar. The name is a grim joke -- why not just offer a Gulag Borscht? -- but the salad was a beaut, and a small portion ($5.95) was plenty big enough to make a meal. The dressing was punchy but not overpowering, and there was lots of texture mixed into the greens -- corn, tortilla strips and, most delectably, black beans.

Lokey

The Rock, and a hard place: Alcatraz Brewing Co. and Rainforest Café.

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But shouldn't a tribute to our own county turnkey have been a fancied-up baloney sandwich? To be enjoyed, perhaps, with a glass of Pink Underwear Lemonade? Who knows? Maybe 20 or 30 years from now, malls around the country will feature Tent City Family Buffets.