Keith Tkachuk collects a penalty against Penguin goalie Jean-Sebastien Aubin, who's horizontal on the ice for about a minute. During this time, Ruiz plays nothing until it's determined he's milking it for camera time.
"You can tell he wasn't really hurt," she says. "They like to make it dramatic. We keep it quiet, kind of a respect thing if somebody's really hurt. But if somebody's whimpering, we have the 'ER Theme.' That's when we want to poke fun at them."
Paolo Vescia
Erin Ruiz: "You have to be ready to jump on a situation."
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The first period ends in a hail of boos since what looked like a goal suddenly isn't.
"Smooth" by Santana is on the list for the break, but suddenly disappears.
"We recently decided not to play it for a while because it's kind of been spent," Ruiz says.
Beneath PA announcements, she plays "Jumping Jack Flash" and "Shimmer." Nothing too loud and rowdy the announcer must scream over. Besides, why waste the testosterone-churning material on anesthetized men watching the Zamboni go around?
What is it about this hypnowheel on ice? Grown men seem unable to pull their eyes away from it. It can't be the way it takes scuffs out of the ice or looks like a 12-pack of Bud Ice. It can't even be the women who win the contests to ride the thing so they'll be noticed during this time-out trance. While toddlers with their scaled-down hockey sticks pretend they're Rick Tocchet, their minders are fantasizing what it'd be like to drive this carbuncle. After asking a few patrons, the only thing we can come up with is that "Zamboni" is one of an elite group of words that for one reason or another people love saying. Like "Buttafuoco."
With both teams scoring in the second period, things move along at a quicker clip with fewer songs and more kill penalty music. Obstructions, interferences, tripping, slashing, nearly the whole row of bad boy standby tunes is exhausted. Ruiz herself has a few hairy moments where she might've given herself a penalty. Because of a miscalculation, one rousing prompt of "Charge!" had to cut it off at two "howls" instead of the customary three, and there was a moment of regret when she sighs, "I just tried something tonight that didn't work, 'Dizzy Up the Girl' by the Goo Goo Dolls. It just wasn't right for the situation. Sometimes we just don't call it right and you know it the second you press the button. That song just kind of sat there."
There's no messing about in the third period -- all the stops are pulled out. "Steps." "Kalinka." Ruiz attaches a healthy three-howl "Charge!" to a stealthy "Zorba the Greek." No "Welcome to the Jungle," but its nearest equivalent -- "Been Caught Stealing" with the dog barks already built in -- comes off the bench and registers a 9.5 on the noise meter. Finally, people are standing. Okay, some of them are leaving to beat the parking exodus, but the rest of them are genuinely standing. And howling. And clapping, acquiescing to every cue. Ruiz shoots them back "You're Unbelievable." And they are. It's their enthusiasm that reinvigorates the Coyotes, who went into this game 0-6-2 against Eastern Conference teams. The Coyotes score back-to-back plays of "Werewolves of London," winning this game 3 to 1.
And Ruiz's subtle musical prodding provided some inspiration.
But instead of taking bows, she's smiling to herself and already unplugging the patch cords to her keyboard to the strains of "Celebration." She'll be back to do it again Saturday night. You probably won't even think to look for her, but you won't be able to ignore her, either.
Instead, you can turn your attention to the Coyotes, the balloons, the Zambonis and Warren Zevon, who'll be on hand to sing the national anthem. It's . . . uh, all right. But it's no "Werewolves of London."
