Bugs' Buffet

Some would look at such duplicitous insincerity as unspeakably whorish behavior. But what they fail to understand is that, as with all things relating to the music biz, it's part of a much bigger game.

Local VIP receptions are about pushing artists and products, sure. But they're also opportunities for Warner Bros. to pay reparations, a music biz penance system, if you will. Inviting folks like Jeff and me -- giving us drinks we wouldn't normally buy and food we could scarcely afford -- is a tacit apology from Warner for forcing him to sell and expecting me to write about crap like Brougham and Static-X.

Kate Garner

Nina Gordon's disappointing solo debut finds her going from alt-rock tiger to schlock-pop kitten. At least her breasts are good.

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An outrageous tab at an upscale joint is a small price to pay for their sins -- they owe us at least that much for ignoring the Muffs and pushing Paula Cole, dropping Van Morrison, making the Barenaked Ladies famous and putting out another Don Henley solo album.

The wabbit is relatively innocent when it comes to music industry transgressions -- at least the label still has Neil Young and Robyn Hitchcock, Wilco and Built to Spill, and a decade of good karma for supporting the Flaming Lips. Which all adds up pretty nicely on their side of the ledger -- the City of Angelssoundtrack notwithstanding.

Warner is a mere delinquent compared with an archcriminal like, say, Jive Records, which inflicted on us Flock of Seagulls, Billy Ocean, Shaquille O'Neal, Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears and 'N SYNC.

Imagine what Jive will have to spring for to atone for that litany.

I get thirsty just thinking about it.