The Doctor Is Out

Lost lease causes labor pains for flamboyant abortionist

Ultimately, he blames the Catholic Church for his woes.

"The Catholic Archdiocese has put a tremendous amount of pressure on my landlord with their twice-weekly ghoul trips to the office . . . to the point that other tenants in the building won't renew their leases unless I'm evicted."

Finkel hopes to be in his new building within a couple of months. He says the office will be windowless and full of security features, but otherwise he's guarding all details.

"I'm not telling squat -- except it's gorgeous," he says. "And it's a single tenant and I own the land, I own the building and I don't have to worry about a spineless landlord anymore. I've got my backbone since I'm my own landlord."

Late last week, Finkel lamented over the move. He's spent the last 10 years decorating his office -- where piped-in pop music plays loudly, all the time -- with Native American rugs, mementos of his years in the Philippines and the "'I Like Me' Wall" (diplomas, photographs and awards -- all Finkel), and now it's all coming down.

"I took all the pretties out," he says. "I've been ruining my dream for the past 10 days now. It just looks like an old skeleton of the Vaginal Vault. But I'm looking forward to moving into Fortress Finkel."

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