Best Eye Job

When we first heard about Governor Hull's most significant accomplishment this past summer -- getting her eyes done -- we smirked. Jeez, lady, you don't need to go under the knife, we thought. Some scissors and a bottle of Clairol will do just fine. Really, no one's looking at your eyes -- who could, after being blinded by your fire-engine helmet head?

Then we saw the governor on television, post-cut.

Wow, great job! Can we get the name of the surgeon? As one observer remarked, "Yeah, Governor Hull got an eye job -- all over her face."

Okay, so she really got a face lift; don't all politicians lie? Who cares, she looks fabulous! Who would have guessed that Jane Hull was a slave to the mirror?

Now if you'd just pay as much attention to the state of the state as you did to the state of your sags, Guv.