By Melissa Fossum
By Lauren Wise
By New Times
By Amanda Savage
By Jason P. Woodbury
By Troy Farah
By New Times
NT: What are you guys traveling in? Do you have a big tour bus?
JB: Dude, did you hear the insinuation in that? She totally wants to rock with us on the bus. (Approximates an imitation of New Times' voice.) "Do you have a big tour bus?" You are so transparent, lady!
KG: We do have a huge bus. And be sure you print that.
JB: We've requested the Don Henley model. It is state of the art. Which is good in case I have to take a donkey crap on the bus. Although I got some tips from Page from Phish. He said there are rules of the road, and rule number one is that you never, never crap on the bus. You have to make the driver pull over. It's a rule known to everyone who travels the road. I bet you Neil Young would not crap on his bus. But I have a feeling that Kyle is going to have a big problem with that one. I think he should have his own van, and he should have to drive it.
NT: What are the other rules?
JB: There will be no cigarette smoking, because I have to protect my instrument. But there will be weed smoking, because this is rock 'n' roll. And ladies. There will be plenty of fuckin' sexy ladies in the huzz-ouse.
NT: I think there's a perception out there that you guys are a joke band. Like Spinal Tap.
KG: Well, that really takes the pressure off having to play well.
JB: To me, that sounds like someone just needing to find a little compartment to stuff us in. Like, they always have to find a little box for everything when they don't understand it. They've got to give us a name and call us a joke band. Well, fuck them. I guess the joke is on them when they come to the show and find their fucking ass is blown out.
NT: Do you ever witness that transformation -- like, the crowd expects to laugh, but then they're just . . . rocking?
JB: All the time, my dear, all the time. It gets so intense sometimes, it actually scares me. I didn't used to understand that. I once read a quote from Eddie Vedder where he said that sometimes his voice gets so intense that he frightens himself. And at the time, I thought that was really fucking funny.
KG: It's like, the final shots of the "Jeremy" video, where he looks like he's having a bowel movement.
JB: (singing the "Jeremy" chorus) Hoo-Hoo!
KG: That was the reason they stopped making videos, not because they were compromising their art or whatever. They just watched the last half of that and were like, "Dude, this has to stop."
JB: Yeah, but you know, it used to be that whenever someone got too serious, it would just amuse me. But now, with the D, I can understand it better. It's like we put the hurt on the audience. But we also put the hurt on ourselves.