Standards and Practices

A guided tour of the best releases across the musical spectrum

A A A Comments By Dave McElfresh Thursday, Nov 8 2001

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Sly's drumming also backs the dual basses of Jah Wobble and Bill Laswell on the latter's Radioaxiom: A Dub Transmission (Axiom) -- more great spacy snarling from Laswell, whose music is just the stuff for jukeboxes in hell.

TMFTAMU! #2: Against the wishes of other family members, several close relatives of the late, irascible Miles Davis have quietly succeeded in fulfilling the trumpeter's request that his tombstone be positioned with its back facing gravesite visitors. Underground sensors will now trip a recording of Miles saying, "What, you never seen a dead person before, motherfucker?" and "My ghost is gonna come slap your silly white head and piss on your geraniums."

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TMFTAMU! #3: Saxophonist Boney James has recently launched a $35 million lawsuit against the Hunkums Lard Corporation. When asked to explain his actions, he stated, "The stuff just tastes too much like what I play and I demand royalties."

TMFTAMU! #4: From Bowling Green's Daily Sputum: A recent study showing that banjo players have larger than average penises may be tied to the sudden disappearance of bluegrass legend Dr. Ralph Stanley who, it is rumored, has holed up in a mountain cabin with three University of Kentucky cheerleaders. Local trappers say they have heard echoes of Stanley making "that high and not-so-lonesome sound."

TMFTAMU! #5: Reggae DJ Jah Dub Hooligan has surgically replaced his left lung with a five-gallon bong. Hooligan states that "now I don't have to put down de pipe when sprinkling ganja on me Cocoa Puffs."

TMFTAMU! #6: Two Sedona women, creating their version of "a Native American flute healing ritual," successfully cured a 19-year-old Paradise Valley debutante of herpes; the process, however, left her glassy-eyed and drooling, hurling fistfuls of diet pills at "the Indian fry bread demon."

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