Feng Shui Ennui

Energy expert claims his place

NT: How about this room? How's it doing, feng shui-wise?

Gordon-Hall: Horrible. When I came in, you had to get up and walk around that stupid chair to shake my hand. I say free up the room so that people can walk in and sit down. And you should never have sharp corners, which are bad for energy in a room.

NT: It's hard to have a room that doesn't have corners, though. It's sort of an architectural standard.

How to succeed in business: Feng shui master Gil Gordon-Hall helps corporations channel positive energy.
Kevin Scanlon
How to succeed in business: Feng shui master Gil Gordon-Hall helps corporations channel positive energy.

Gordon-Hall: My home has all rounded corners. Because if you send energy into a corner, it bounces off and, if there's a door there, it can escape. But if the corner is rounded, the energy will travel around the corner and head into the next room. So it will stick around, and you'll get more use out of it.

NT: Where did you learn this stuff?

Gordon-Hall: I studied with a professor from the Beijing University in Memphis. Because after my accident, I wanted to figure out how to make my home a sanctuary, a safe place where I could heal.

NT: What accident?

Gordon-Hall: Several years ago, I was struck by a drunk driver going 55 miles per hour, on my motorcycle. I was in the hospital for three and a half years, learning to walk and talk again. My right arm sustained so much damage that I can hardly move it. I was working in interior design, and I started to hear through the grapevine that people didn't want to hire me because of my disability. Hello! It doesn't take more than one hand to carry in a bunch of fabric swatches! I'm not the one who's gonna be moving your stove! So I started doing feng shui. Same kind of work, but a different approach.

NT: That's really a drag, though.

Gordon-Hall: The accident? Yeah. The doctors said, "The trauma to your head was so severe, we doubt you'll have much use of most of your faculties. The best you can hope for is to get a job tearing tickets at a movie theater." I'm lying there thinking, "My modeling career is over! I am so screwed!" All of a sudden I felt like an ocean wave traveling over my body, and I heard a man's voice in my ear saying, "You're going to be fine!" And after that day, I could do predictions.

NT: Predictions.

Gordon-Hall: Yes. I predicted the 1993 earthquake in Los Angeles. I described exactly what my niece was going to look like before she was born. There are tons of bootleg videos of me on the market, where I'm channeling a spirit named Sananda, who heals people through me.

NT: You sure have a lot of different talents. Is there such a thing as feng shui in punctuation? Because I noticed in your resume that you insert an apostrophe after the "s" in every plural word.

Gordon-Hall: That's not a principle of feng shui, but I like to put in little twists, like punctuation where it doesn't belong. You'll look at a page that I've written and you'll say, "Well, that comma doesn't go there," but somehow it works. I love little changes like that. Because without change, man will never evolve.

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