By Melissa Fossum
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Mike's unearthly business acumen and practicality keep the band moving. "The hardest thing to do is tour by yourself. We won't go on tour unless it's benefiting our band and getting our music out there," Mike says. "Opening slots are the best thing for any band. You can tour by yourself and play for the bartender and five other people, but why book a show if it isn't going to be good?
"When we signed with Suburban Home, we got ourselves out of debt. It wasn't a lot of money, but it paid for the van," Mike insightfully offers. "This last tour was the one where we finally got all the things we need to tour properly. We bought a new van and a brand-new trailer, all the merchandise. It paid for all our gas, but we had to bring our own money for amenities. And this is the first tour where we actually came back with food."
Anthony! "Just before hooking up with these guys, I was playing with Adam's Alcoholics and Sam the Butcher," Anthony says. "I was something of local bass whore."
The guy in Stereotyperider who endures the most ribbing is the guy'll who'll fight the hardest to make his point. He's the one who picked through the intimidating 20-page contracts and exclaimed "Aaah!" more than once.
"Compared to the other contracts, [Suburban Home's] was one we could trust -- three pages and a handshake. When you go to any major label without any credibility, your contract is going to be so limited, they'll have more control over your band than you do. When we all write songs together, we don't write songs to throw them away."
"What would happen if you weren't there to package glasses?" taunts Shane about Anthony's dreaded new day job.
"I guess people wouldn't receive their glasses," Anthony wryly retorts. "They might have to hire someone else at the warehouse to take my place on the days I couldn't come in. That's my new job. I pack boxes of glasses all day long. This place, I was there for a week and they made $6.5 million. I was blown away by that. I'm working for a multimillion dollar corporation, and then I get my next paycheck and I had worked for 40.2 hours. Sure, it's only 15 minutes, but they just told me they made $6.5 million. They can pay me a couple of dollars. So the next week, I work 39.7 hours, figuring they'd round it off. But they only paid me for 39.7 hours!"
Dave! Dave's not talkative, but that's because he's ill. He's got shingles. "So I'm all doped up," he grunts. But here's a trooper, a guy who didn't have to drive all day to Las Vegas last week for a show at the Double Down Saloon with Nebula. The band was all set to do it as a trio, with Shane momentarily returning on the drums, when Dave reached down and summoned Herculean chutzpah.
But it was worth it. Not only did the band have a great show, they had a great new drink to celebrate. Says Anthony, "My friend made me promise him I would order this brown drink that tastes so good. It's called assjuice' and it's very good, but the best part about it is, around the holiday, they put in chunks of corn in it."
Admittedly, Dave's installment is skimpy and, well, gross, but he makes up for it by revealing what the band plans to wear this Halloween.
"We're going as the Blues Brothers."