Dancing Queen

Playboy Playmate Brittany Evans tells Speakeasy about her dream gig.

Brittany Evans is not that kind of girl. Sure, she took off every last stitch of clothing for Playboy this month, and she hangs out at Hugh Hefner's mansion in a bikini and high heels, but she's really just the girl next door. She collects old books and loves her mom and shows us her breasts for money. Well, maybe Brittany is the girl next door if you live in Gomorrah.

While our photographer snaps away at a fully clad Brittany, I flip through her portfolio, which begins with snaps of a thong-clad Brittany (from when she was a swimsuit model for Venus Swimwear) and lots of gauzy head shots (from when she was a finalist for host of E! Entertainment Television's Wild On show) but winds up with page after page of Brittany prettily displaying parts of herself generally revealed only to one's gynecologist. I'm still blushing as Brittany joins me at a dark table at Scorch, where she hosts a weekly dance television program and where she's agreed to meet me and reveal all. So to speak.

New Times: What do you say to a total stranger who has just seen so very much of you?

Brittany Evans, hot (almost) nude celeb!
Kevin Scanlon
Brittany Evans, hot (almost) nude celeb!

Brittany Evans: Um, well, I don't know. I guess I would just say, "Hi!"

NT: Hello.

Evans: I'm getting used to it now. I knew when I was doing the shoot that people were going to see these photos, and it was weird, because I'm really modest; I'm not the girl that goes to clubs and flashes people or anything. I'm pretty conservative.

NT: You're featured in the current issue [February] of Playboy. What did your mom say?

Evans: She said, "I don't really understand why you want to do this, but I think they're beautiful pictures." My dad is a longtime subscriber to Playboy, and he just said, "Well, I've been looking at pictures of someone else's daughter for the last 25 years, so I can't really complain too much."

NT: Tell me about meeting Hef.

Evans: It was a disaster. I was at the Playboy mansion, and I really wanted to see the inside. Everyone was outside hanging out by the pool, so I snuck inside and started looking around. I went upstairs and I heard someone coming, Hef and some other people. I started to go downstairs and I was in a bikini and high heels, and I made it about halfway down and I slipped. It was a really disastrous fall, and the whole way down I'm thinking, "Nooooooo . . ." My arm got caught in the railing, one of my shoes was at the top of the stairs, and one was at the bottom, but I eventually stopped falling. It was the worst possible thing that could have happened to me -- I got caught sneaking around someone's house and then I fell down a huge flight of stairs.

NT: And you landed at Hef's feet.

Evans: Pretty much, yeah. And I looked up and said to him, "Oh, God. Has this ever happened to anyone before?" And he said, "I've seen many, many people fall down those stairs."

NT: You were voted Playboy.com's October 2002 Cyber Girl of the Month by members of the magazine's Cyber Club. How do we know you didn't rig the election? You know, get your friends to hit the "Enter" button 400 times apiece?

Evans: Well, you can vote more than once, but you have to buy a membership to Playboy.com. I felt guilty asking people to become members, so I just decided to leave it to fate. It would be okay to win honestly or not at all.

NT: And now you're the host of Club Underground, which airs Sunday nights on the WB.

Evans: Ooh, yeah! People come in and dance on Wednesdays, and we film them, and they get to watch themselves on TV on Sunday nights.

NT: What time?

Evans: I don't know. I think it's on late.

NT: Are you an ecdysiast?

Evans: I'm sorry?

NT: A stripper.

Evans: I've never heard that word before! Is that a nice way to say "stripper"? Well, no. Like I said, I'm pretty modest.

NT: You keep describing yourself as "modest" and "conservative," but there are some photos of you in Playboy where you're bending waaaaaay over, and all you're wearing is a smile.

Evans: Right. I know it sounds totally wrong, because I've been in Playboy, but it's really true.

NT: I read where you said, "I've always been an anal, obsessive-compulsive planner." Is that what led to your success?

Evans: No, actually I'm very laid-back about my career. I've got a Plan B that doesn't include modeling and television, but I'm leaving the door open for any opportunity that comes my way. I'd love to act, but I don't know if I can. What I'd really love to get into is hosting.

NT: Right. You're currently an in-game host for the Phoenix Coyotes. Does that mean that you put them up at your place when they're playing here?

Evans: No! I wish. That would be so cool. I actually know nothing about sports, so it was interesting that I ended up with this job. It's when you go to hockey games, there's the announcer and then there's another voice talking about the attendance or doing commercials. That's me. I do some on-camera stuff, too.

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