By New Times
By Robrt L. Pela
By Lauren Saria and Heather Hoch
By Deborah Sussman
By Robrt L. Pela and Amy Silverman
By Kathleen Vanesian
By Eric Schaefer
By Heather Hoch
Bite Me: Oh, I miss West Hollywood. Those are my people, so out, uh, going. Have you guys ever been to West Hollywood?
RD: Ohhhhhh, yeah.
TE: I haven't.
534 W. McDowell Road
Phoenix, AZ 85003
Region: Central Phoenix
Bite Me: You're young. There's lots of time for that. Ease in slowly. 'Specially coming from Michigan. They're hounds on the West Coast. What part of Michigan are you from?
TE: I was born in Millington, which is near Frankenmuth.
Bite Me: Oh my God. Frankenmuth, where it's Christmas all the time. Is My Florist a gay pickup spot?
RD: Let's just say it's a really great place to see and be seen. And the music's cool.
Qwest sales consultant and Sears sales manager
Bite Me: So, Rob, what exactly do you sell?
RC: I sell telephone service, video cable service and high-speed Internet service.
Bite Me: It's some production to get all them services hooked up, eh? (Bite Me was dumfounded when her cable installer came an hour early. In L.A., you practically had todo the cable man to get service.) So what'd you eat tonight?
RC: I had the grilled ham and cheese.
Bite Me: Are their sandwiches the bomb?
RC: They do have great sandwiches here. They have great bread. Their salads and soups are excellent, as well.
Bite Me: How long have you lived here?
RC: Six years.
Bite Me: Don't you want to know how long I've lived here?
RC: Of course! How long have you lived here, honey?
Bite Me: I came over two short weeks ago from L.A.
RC: Wild. I was born in Phoenix, but I was in the Navy in L.A. So afterward I stayed out there a while. Got into a little acting.
Bite Me: Bet you looked good in your tight little sailor pants. What else should I check out in Phoenix?
RC: (He's grinning now.) Hamburger Mary's.
Bite Me: Everybody's pushin' Proud Hamburger Mary's tonight. What does your buddy here do for cash?
AR: I'm a sales manager for Sears. I've been with them 15 years. They've been doin' me right.
Bite Me: They're better than Nordstrom, especially on what New Times pays me. Do they even have Nordstrom here?
AR: Yeah, they do, sweetie. We're not a hick town. It's up at Fashion Square in Scottsdale.
Bite Me: Okay, wait a gosh-darn minute! I love this town. Let's get that straight, especially after the pretentiousness of SoCal. But, hey, I'm a girl. What's the difference between the Navy and the Marines?
AR: The uniforms are much sexier in the Navy.
Bite Me: Seems to me that the Navy's a bunch of pussies and the Marines take the real risks. Hand-to-hand combat, and all that.
AR: Well, imagine being on a ship that's under fire. Not for the faint of heart, either. Then, there are the Navy SEALs, the most elite fighting corps in the military.
Bite Me: Until tonight, I actually thought that the Marines operated the submarines and Navy operated the boats.
AR: They're ships, ya fruitcake.
Bite Me: Look who's talking. But, yes, I dye my hair blond, and I really am this dumb. So tell me about your attempt at acting.
AR: I studied in North Hollywood.
Bite Me: Did you like it?
AR: Yeah, but things happened here more than they did in Hollywood. The training happened in L.A., and the work happened here. I'm also a co-partner with Laura Durant of Durant Communications, helping with publicity for local theater.
Bite Me: Do you love it?
AR: I just started, but yeah, it's nice to have something else going on.
Bite Me: I'm like that, too. I need to have my busy work and then my creative outlet. I paint. Very badly. Lots of smiling suns. God knows I don't write.
AR: Well, you're in the right place to be a great writer. I love New Times, and Phoenix has a lot going on that wasn't 10 years ago. It's a city on the come.
Bite Me: I hear you. I'm livin' like a princess here. In L.A., I lived in a shoebox surrounded by shrieking drag queens and police sirens. So, what'd you eat tonight?
AR: I had the Tuna amandine. It was excellent.
Diane and George LeSatz
Retired teacher and retired coach
Bite Me: How many years have you two been married?
DL: Three months.
Bite Me: Just three months? Where'd you meet?
GL: We were neighbors 40 years ago. So we went ahead and got together again. We both lost our spouses.
Bite Me: Precious. Where did you guys get married?
GL: In Cortez, Colorado. That's where I moved to about 15 years ago. And then we just started seeing each other about two years ago, and recently we honeymooned in Santa Fe.
Bite Me: What'd you eat at My Florist?
DL: It's a wonderful place. I had a great Baja salad.
Bite Me: A salad! I'm sorry, but you oughta forgo the salad and scarf down some carbs. You need some meat on dem bones, chickie.
GL: You're right. She does need some weight on her.