Sister Act

Late Nite Catechism has gotten to be a habit with local crowds

NT: I went to public school.

Hannon: That explains it. You're a Public. Okay, well, if you'd gone to Catholic school, you'd know that an ejaculation is a short prayer. And you'd have been mortified every time Sister would say, "Okay, you should say a little ejaculation for that sin!" or "How many ejaculations are you going to say to our Father?" and you'd be dying, because you're 13 years old and "ejaculation" is a funny word. There's a joke in the show about ejaculation, but sometimes the audience is so stiff I can't take it all the way. I can't get there.

NT: What do you do when the crowd is just really not helping you out?

Nun sense: Patti Hannon explains it all to you in Late Nite Catechism.
courtesy of Scottsdale Center for the Arts
Nun sense: Patti Hannon explains it all to you in Late Nite Catechism.

Hannon: I go faster! I've had audiences where I'm thinking, "Are these people dead? Somebody give them drugs!" Like out in Sun City, well, you have to go fast because the oxygen tanks don't last that long. The audience isn't as generous with its response. But I don't judge it. I don't like to be judgmental.

NT: That's not very Catholic of you. If you were a nun, what would your nun name be?

Hannon: I used to refer to myself as Sister Mary Wingtips, because I had this great pair of men's two-tone shoes I would wear doing the show. But if I were really a nun, which I'd never want to be, I would have taken a man's name. I always liked those nuns with boy names, like Sister Aloysius or Sister James. Sister George!

NT: My name would be Sister Mary Stigmata. But I can't figure out why anyone would want to be a nun.

Hannon: Well, a long time ago it was considered very chic to give your child to the church. If a woman didn't marry young, she could become a nun.

NT: A bride of Christ! But who would want to marry a dead guy who never, ever goes away? A guy with holes in his hands! Okay. So why's it called a habit?

Hannon: Because you wear it all the time. Every day. It's a habit.

NT: Ba-dump bump! And what does a nun wear under her habit?

Hannon: None of your beeswax, buddy.

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