Bad Asses

Jen and Ben get Gigli with it, and -- lucky us! -- we get to watch.

The best line in the movie, hands down, goes to Walken, who stares Affleck down and says, "You don't know nuthin' -- I can tell just by lookin' atcha." That Chris always was an insightful fellow.

How Lo can you go?: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez look as though they just finished watching Gigli.
How Lo can you go?: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez look as though they just finished watching Gigli.

So how bad, in the final analysis, is Gigli? The best that can be said about it here is that it doesn't beat out The Ladies Man as the most abrasively awful film of the past five years, nor does it top Battlefield Earth for sheer misguided lunacy, though whoever chose to green light a film about a mobster babysitting a retarded youngster who helps him to "convert" a lesbian really should be fired. Affleck's acting is often cardboard enough to be amusing, but Lopez delivers what may be the worst performance of her entire career (including, yes, The Wedding Planner), looking in every scene like she's just waiting for the last take so she can go home. Twice she delivers speeches supposed to make her look tough-as-nails; both times, we have to wonder how the other characters onscreen could possibly be convinced. A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue.

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