BEST PLACE FOR AMERICAN IDOLATRY

Rather than killing us softly with your song, why not swing into this store and set yourself up for private, in-home karaoke humiliation. A mere $67.99 scores the most basic setup, but -- as Britney is well aware -- the more money one invests in equipment, the better one sounds. Fancier systems carry options such as a digital key controller that adjusts the singer's range, and microphones that regulate bass and treble levels. After ringing up headphones, wireless mikes, amplifiers, lighting gear and a specially built karaoke chair, it's time to name the tunes: country, cock rock, rap, Spanish, oldies, Broadway, gospel or children's. If Velvet Elvis: Songs of the Kingand Sing Like Celine Dion, volumes 1 through 4, don't rock your boat, pick up a copy of Kiss This, and belt out "Lick It Up" at your next Tupperware party. Don't forget the tambourine, maracas and disco ball.