BEST REASON TO GET UP IN THE MORNING

The Loser Line is arguably the cleverest bit of radio in the Valley, brought to you by the DJ duo of Kid and Ruben S who handle this too-short segment of the morning show perfectly. The premise is simple. Girls can call the station and get a phone number to give to guys -- total losers, of course -- who hit on them at clubs, in class, at the gym, wherever those annoying encounters take place. Guys call the number thinking they're calling the girl. Instead, the message machine is really at the radio station and their incredibly fumbling attempts to get laid are broadcast to thousands of listeners. Some morons call over and over, some are drunk, some are simply pathetic. All are hilarious. ("I've called you five times. How come you never call back? You're so hot. Please. Call me. Okay? I looovvve you.") We looovvve the calls from the girlfriends/wives who find the number in their man's pocket. ("You bitch. Don't even think he's going to call you. I'll kick your ass.") Funny, too, was the high school principal who thought he was calling a student's house to discuss problems at school with her parents. Or the woman who gave the number to her gynecologist who called -- twice -- with test results ("It's very urgent that you call us right away"). Great stuff! Even if you have to tune in at 7 a.m. when the Loser Line airs.