By New Times Staff
By Kathleen Vanesian
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Chris Packham
By Robrt L. Pela
By Claire Lawton
By New Times Staff
By Claire Lawton
NT: That explains a lot. Is it supposed to be funny that you can't sing but you record a lot of songs?
Bloom: My voice is very poor, but I make up for it with enthusiasm and creativity. They're funny songs, and the fact that I can't sing makes them funnier. I wrote this one about the Atkins diet that was really cute. I'm very confident in my ability, I'm very comfortable on the air. Today I sang six new songs on my show, and I thought, "I can't believe I have the guts to do this."
NT: Neither can I. Although your Enron: Behind the Music thing was sort of funny. Where do you get your inspiration?
Bloom: Some of this stuff I steal. I got the Enron thing off the Internet.
NT: Uh, I don't think you're supposed to do that. I mean, it's not legal. It's not particularly moral.
Bloom: I never claim to write everything myself. I've never claimed to be so brilliant that I can keep up three hours of entertainment. I know I'm not allowed to do that, under the laws of the First Amendment. But most of my stuff is original. I wrote a spoof today about growing marijuana, but I'm not gonna use it on the air. I'm trying to grow a show, and I don't think putting on a pro-marijuana thing is a good idea.
NT: Your hero, Howard Stern, would disagree.
Bloom: Well, I'm trying to grow a radio show here. You've got to make your guests comfortable, so they'll come back. Then when they're comfortable, you can get a little more risqué with them. People might not come on the show if they thought I was pro-marijuana.
NT: You said, on your show, that you've always wanted to be a man in a chicken suit on a turnpike.
Bloom: I make ridiculous comments like that all the time. Chicken suit is like, you're the guy who's making people laugh but no one knows who you are. No one can see you, and you can really perform. That's why I do my show with my eyes closed sometimes. It's like wearing a chicken suit. It makes my show even funnier.
NT: But I listened to your program. I was bored out of my mind. Except when I was pissed off.
Bloom: No one's ever said that to me. I've never had a negative comment. There are some of my shows I've listened to and I can't stand them, but I'm growing as a performer, as an entertainer. As soon as people find my show, they know it's different.
NT: It's like someone's nerdy kid brother who just got his first tape recorder.
Bloom: Right! I'm a rich 16-year-old. I've got all the toys, and the mind of a teenager. For an adult, I'm not very wealthy, but for a 16-year-old, I've got money.
NT: Not to mention celebrity impersonations!
NT: And you do these little character voices that are supposed to be funny.
Bloom: I have Tab Aboob, a Shi'ite Muslim who owns a Jewish delicatessen. His specialty is matzo ball soup that makes you want to go to war.
NT: And people don't call in to complain?
Bloom: Not one. Because it's funny. I'm Jewish. I make fun of Jews, I make fun of the blacks, because we're all in this together. I'm not picking on anyone in particular. Do you find it offensive?
NT: Who, me? Still, it's not very PC, is it?
Bloom: A year from now I'll either be dead or I'll be on top. I'm like a presidential candidate; I'm working 'round the clock. I have a wife and two kids who think I'm nuts. I am nuts. I'm nuts, but I'm driven. I'm living it, I'm breathing it, and nothing can stop me.