Bye-Bye, Guv?

Charles Goodson says, 'Dammit, Janet - get lost!'

NT: So Janet has a Smokey Bear complex. I'm guessing you don't like the way she handled the gas crisis.

Goodson: Well, that was stupid. You're gonna hear a lot of negative things about the governor today, by the way.

NT: Well, I didn't come here to talk about your taste in millinery.

Goodson: The way the governor handled the gas crisis was stupid. She knew it was going to happen beforehand. Kinder Morgan came to her to ask her to pave the way for an easier variance, because they knew something was going to happen. She told them to go get bent; she had better things to do with her time. She could have had a [gasoline] delivery system set up in advance to ease the burden. She could have used railroad gasoline tanks to go up to Tucson to get gas. She has that authority. Instead, she went to a governor's meeting, and it wasn't until we had a gas crisis that she came back. She made it worse by saying, "This is not a crisis."

NT: You're a member of the National Southern Party. You're a Confederate!

Goodson: I'm the chairman of the Southern Party of the Southwest.

NT: Uh, didn't the Confederacy surrender?

Goodson: Not the government. The army surrendered.

NT: The Southern Party is often accused of being racist.

Goodson: Only by stupid, idiot liberals. They're stupid. Quote me! The NAACP, the ACLU, the Southern Poverty Law Center with that pervert Morris Dees, are stupid. They don't have a brain between them. If they did, they smoked it all away. There's more racism and blood attached to the American flag than there could ever be with the Confederate flag.

NT: Are there a lot of local Confederates?

Goodson: Well, before the recall we had about 22. That included in New Mexico. I mandated that the party not be involved in the recall, because it's an Arizona issue, and our membership spans New Mexico. And they said, "If the party can't be involved [in the recall], then we don't want to be involved at all." Now we're down to about eight members.

NT: That many. Wow.

Goodson: One member, his name is Bill, wants to come back. Nicest guy, but his face looks like it was run through a meat grinder. I said, "Bill, the only thing you people in New Mexico could do on the recall is stand around and look pretty. And I know your wife thinks you're gorgeous, but I've got news for you: You are ugly. You would make my supporters run away in sheer terror!"

NT: You're mean, Charles. I think recalling the governor is sort of nasty. How would it be if someone were trying to take away your job?

Goodson: I lost my job over this. I was a contract agent for AmeriPlan Health Care. They learned about this [recall campaign], and . . . I got a letter from AmeriPlan saying, "We're not political. You either stop this recall campaign or . . ." I told them, "If that's the price I have to pay to get this governor out, then I'll see you later."

NT: Your Web site refers to you as "Arizona's own savior." Maybe you should run for office.

Goodson: I ran for mayor of Tempe three times. I've actually been kind of playing with the idea of running for state legislator. Running for governor? I'm not going to say it's impossible.

NT: What does Janet say about all this?

Goodson: Nothing. She has her flunkies say, "It's not going to go anywhere. He has as much chance of recalling Janet as reestablishing the Confederacy." Anyway, if the Confederacy were reestablished, I would suggest that Arizona secede, form our own nation, and become a true republic.

NT: Good luck convincing anyone of that.

Goodson: It's a big "if." I want to return Arizona to its conservative past, where the people are in charge. Right now, with Janet Napolitano in office, you have the rule of the minority over the majority. You think we have freedom right now?

NT: Sometimes. Hey, how come everyone wants to know if Janet's a lesbian?

Goodson: I don't know. I tell everyone, "Who you go to bed with is your business." Because you're doing it on your own time. What Napolitano does while she's sitting in the governor's seat is my business. I'm paying her salary. I want to know what's going on.

E-mail robrt.pela@newtimes.com

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