VIVA LA REsolution

When we reach the end of a year, we often think back with nostalgia on the good, the bad, and the coyote uglies. Then, we drink -- a lot. Sometimes to celebrate, but usually to forget. When we wake up the next morning, usually in the grip of a massive hangover, we make resolutions to change things so that we don't wake next year by the toilet, clutching the shower curtain and praying for God to just take us. We want to make a change so that our lives will be better, cooler, and filled with everything we think we're missing. But usually, before the Super Bowl, our resolutions are only auld acquaintance (admit it, you made one that you've already put on the shelf) -- because the hardest part of keeping a resolution is getting started, the part no one knows how to do.

No one but us, that is. After all, it's always easier to solve someone else's problems. Want to quit smoking, get rock-hard abs, lose 10 pounds, find love, get in touch with your inner psychic? Whatever your resolution, use this guide as your road map. And remember, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. But if you still don't succeed, burn this guide and just pretend it never happened. We won't tell.