Barbecue Nations

Aryanfest was hardly the badass event it billed itself. Shaved-headed men hugged each other like they were at a gay pride picnic.

And then, mustering his limited strength, Butler tried to lead his audience in a series of battle cries. Needless to say, these were accompanied by zeig heils.

"White Power!" he wheezed once, and thrust his right arm out in a salute.

"White Power!" he whisper-shouted once more, again thrusting his right arm skyward.

Aryanfest took place outside Fountain Hills.
Aryanfest took place outside Fountain Hills.
Skinheads in wife-beaters danced with each other to 
the beat of hate bands at Aryanfest.
Skinheads in wife-beaters danced with each other to the beat of hate bands at Aryanfest.

"White . . . Powrrrghh . . ."

Exhausted by the effort, he couldn't quite get the word out the third time, and when he attempted to zeig heil, the weight of his arm began to bend him over at the waist in small stuttering movements, like a wind-up toy soldier in dire need of one last crank.

Which might also be said about Aryanfest.

Though heralded at the outset as the ultimate white power happening, it wheezed and coughed like the ancient Butler must have done if he attempted to engage in sloppy seconds with his beloved Bianca Trump. If, in the future, the event retains its title as the largest white power gathering in Arizona ever, the "mud people" of our state, much less our national government, have little to worry about. Because based on the event near Fountain Hills, the white power movement should be called, "The Gang That Couldn't Shoot [A Rocket] Straight."

E-mail susy.buchanan@newtimes.com, or call 602-229-8440.

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