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Not for the squeamish, nor the modest, nor for anyone with the misfortune of having been born with nerve endings in their nether parts -- there's no getting around it, the Brazilian means pain. When asked about how badly a Brazilian hurts, Snooke doesn't beat around the bush.
"Your first one does kill you," she says, matter-of-factly. "But I tell [new clients] they will laugh more than they will cry. I give them a lollipop to shut them up, and kind of harden their nerves. Ninety-nine percent of my clients grab a lollipop when they come in, and some crunch through two their first visit. If you walk out of the room with [a lollipop], everyone knows what you've had done."
To prove she is more masochist than sadist, Snooke admits that she does her own Brazilians. "Oh, the first rip is bad. It wasn't funny; the first time I just about had a thrombosis, I'm telling you."
Repeat performances minimize pain, Snooke says. She tells of a client who had such a tough time getting through her first Brazilian that she had to stop in the middle to take a "breather" out in the waiting room. Three Brazilians later, she talked on the phone to her real estate agent through the whole thing.
At no extra charge, Snooke will adorn the newly shorn with glue-on body jewelry (like crystals or sequins) or temporary tattoos.
"Unicorns, butterflies and flowers are the most popular," she says. "Ninety-five percent of my bikini wax clients want Brazilians, and 95 percent of those getting Brazilians opt for the jewelry or tattoos."
The special flourishes can be worn in the shower and will last three to five days.
For Valentine's Day, anniversaries or special occasions, Snooke offers the "Heart Bikini Wax" for $35, where she prunes one's womanly hedge into a heart shape, ties a little bow on it and sprinkles it with glitter.
Just about the only thing Snooke won't do is wax men from the waist down. For the hale, hearty and hairy men who want more than their backs, chests, brows, necks or ears waxed, Snooke refers them to Loretta at Just for You Salon and Spa in Tempe.
"Timid Is Bad"
Loretta Wilson's clients like her because she's cheeky.
"All of my bikini waxes include 'around the butt, up the butt, or crack-waxing,'" she says with a straight face.
Whatever you want to call it, Wilson isn't afraid to go all the way with a hairy guy. Her Tempe salon, Just for You (1730 East Warner Road, 480-752-8100), is one of very few in the Valley that offers the full range of waxing services for women . . . and men.
It used to be that waxing for men was a service sought just by body builders, dancers, boxers and athletes. Now with the advent of Queer Eye . . ., "Manscaping" is one of the hottest grooming trends for metromales.
Bumps and razor burns, apparently, are for losers. "Nobody shaves anymore," Wilson says, adding that these days, "more and more women send their husbands and boyfriends in for waxing. They want their men to be hairless." Why? Consider it a matter of personal taste.
Wilson uses frank language and believes that that is what puts her clients at ease. Her ads are aggressive, and her Web site (www.justforyouintempe.com) will tell a person exactly what to expect when he or she shows up for a waxing service.
In addition, the FAQ section will answer just about any question a person could conjure up, such as, "Can certain kinds of waxing make your penis look longer?" and "Does waxing a man's testicles hurt bad . . . ?" (The answers: Yes, and, What, are you kidding?)
When she first started offering Brazilians for men, Wilson had a problem. Men would schedule appointments and then chicken out. To combat the problem of frequent cancellations, she requires a 50 percent deposit over the phone for first-time male customers asking for Brazilians.
She says it is not at all uncommon for male clients to have an erection during the procedure. After all, if she is waxing a man's testicles, waxing becomes a full-contact, "summertime sport." Not that it fazes her. "I just cover it with a towel and go about my business. The erection goes away when I start pulling hair."
With that said, Wilson is quite comfortable waxing a butt, but she won't wax an ass.
"If a client gets out of line: It. Is. Over. With. I am very strict with misconduct or innuendos because I don't want a business like that. I am strictly business." She says she immediately tells unruly yetis to leave the premises.
Not that it happens very often.
The Wonder Woman of Waxing takes a lot of pride in her work.
"My waxes are very artistic," she says. "I do not want a single strand of hair left." She treats ingrown hairs with chemical acne products. And she follows up by phone to see how clients liked their service.
One of Wilson's body waxing clients (call him Harry) says that he found Wilson by looking on the Internet and calling around, and that he appreciates her frankness. Before going to Just for You, he had been to another salon where the aesthetician was not accustomed to waxing near the South Pole, and he says that her lack of experience left him feeling less than satisfied.