Letters from the week of November 4, 2004

 Blackened and Tanned

Duh, get a brain: While you've got to give the proprietors of the Black and Tan props for daring to operate an after-hours club in Phoenix, you've also got to wonder why these guys have to demonstrate how those who pass themselves off as underground chic in this town are, in reality, such fucking hayseeds. New Times hardly outed these idiots; they were advertising the hell out of their pseudo-cool venue forever. The ticket New Times ran with the Inferno column ("Dirty Doggy-Style," Stephen Lemons, October 21) shows what kind of fools these guys are. They crybaby over getting outed in New Times' Best Of edition ("Best Worst-Kept Secret," September 30, Page 206), and then they print up tickets telling everybody about their existence.

Duuuhhh! Hello! Got a brain?

In addition, B&T has had a mention on [the] AZPunk.com [listings site] for quite a while that gave as much info as New Times had [in the Best Of item] that got the B&T guys' panties in a bunch. Neither place gave the address, even though everybody knows that.

All you have to do is look at Simon Rohrich's Web site [Rohrich is one of the, uh, cool dudes who ran B&T] to see what a bunch of lame-o's there are in this city trying to pass themselves off as edgy. I notice he published a posting by some guy who questioned what Stephen Lemons meant in an Inferno column when he quipped about R. Kelly on the playground. Apparently Simon was in the dark as well, or why would he allow such a dimwit to put up something on his blog?

Simon, get a life! And Kenny, we all know you make confections for a living and are hardly cool, so stop crying because New Times wrote about you [the mysterious Kenny was supposedly the owner of B&T]. Come on, Cookie Monster, you should be honored that anybody even gave a damn about your little shithole club. I've been to it a couple of times and was thoroughly bored by the coke freaks there. In my opinion, the cops would have been doing all of us a service by closing you down.

I notice that Simon's been badmouthing [Lemons] in a menacing way on his site. It's time somebody who's really cool did a New York-style version of an after-hours club here. No losers -- like Simon, Kenny and James Bound [another of the B&T's godfathers] -- need apply.
Terri Ridley, via the Internet

Totally uncool, dude: What New Times did to the Black and Tan was totally uncool!

Dude, you guys should be shot for closing that pussy palace down! You have truly become as much a part of the establishment as the Arizona Repulsive. Even to mention the club by its initials could have brought the cops down on James Bound's head. I'm surprised he hasn't hunted down Stephen Lemons and beat his fat ass.

And what's with Lemons, who's as white as they come, trying to act like a [brother] in Inferno? Fuck knows, we don't need anybody else trying to act like that! There's enough of that shit in hip-hop. To quote Bruce Willis in some movie, "You really want to make me mad? Play rap music."
Name withheld by request

Gang that couldn't shoot straight: So wait a second, New Times gave the B&T a little recognition, and then they freaked out? I read that Best Of award -- the one about the "worst-kept secret" -- and it's vague. Very vague.

Then these B&T brain surgeons go and make a big stink about it online, thereby implicating themselves in what was, from where I sit, a criminal enterprise? Sweet Jesus! Talk about the gang that couldn't shoot straight!

I'm no fan of the cops in this city, but Rohrich & Co. act like they want to get arrested -- on grounds of stupidity!!! What's even weirder to me is that the B&T's Best Of item seems fairly complimentary. I'm confused. Deeply confused.
Jay Davis, Phoenix

Cluck, cluck, cluck: I would like to clear up something regarding your article about the Black and Tan. The article states "the Black and Tan [was] listed on AZPunk.com for offering free all-ages underground shows." The Black and Tan was a speakeasy venue which we at AZPunk.com honored by never listing the address in any of our databases. A simple description saying that the venue hosts free underground shows is hardly a reason to attempt to label AZPunk as a reason the Black and Tan is closing its doors -- especially coming from a publication that granted the place with a "Best of Phoenix" award and a corresponding article about it.

The people who frequent AZPunk.com are the very ones who would honor the place by keeping it secret. Your article is a pathetic attempt to pass the buck on AZPunk.com when you're the one who seems to be causing the outing problem.

The actual venue name listing is there for bands to post their shows if they should be playing [there]. We left it up for showgoers to find [the B&T] themselves. It's unfair for you to attempt to label AZPunk as an outer [of] this venue due to the lengths we went to keep the address off [our] site.
Micah Elliott, AZPunk.com

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