Thanks for the Mashed Cauliflower

Elizabeth Harris still wants you to toss your cookies

Harris: But you did well with it.

NT: Well, I'm in shape. As long as you count "round" as a shape. But really, what's next? Sugar-free sugar? Atkins-friendly gin? Sugar-free doughnuts sound like the Apocalypse.

Harris:I don't know when it's going to happen, but the only diet that I think will supersede low carb is when people return to eating live foods. But people aren't going to like the taste. What it comes down to is you really don't need white bread to survive.

NT: Maybe you don't.

Harris:But when you make white bread, you're mixing flour and water -- you're making papier-mâché. Can you imagine trying to digest that?

NT: No. But a lot of this low-carb stuff contains cellulose, which is indigestible by humans. Is that the trick? Give us food made of materials that we can't digest so they pass through our system?

Harris: No. The idea is to eat the food that's most nutrient-dense.

NT: It's sort of hard to do that on Thanksgiving. What should I do, stuff my turkey with a meat loaf?

Harris: The best is the mashed potato. You use cauliflower, and you mash it, and --

NT: Wait. You're not going to give me a recipe with the word "mock" in the title, are you? Because my dinner guests aren't going to be fooled by mashed cauliflower. And neither am I.

Harris: Well, if it's prepared right, it's extremely good. It has the consistency of mashed potatoes.

NT: And tastes like cauliflower. It's all lethal -- mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce, pie.

Harris:We sell a low-carb cranberry sauce made with Splenda.

NT: And what does that taste like? Because some of that low-carb stuff tastes like paint thinner.

Harris:It tastes good, just different. You just throw on a little whipped cream, you know what I mean? If you're complaining about the taste, you can just doctor it a little. It's a good product. It's so popular, we're out of it.

NT: The holidays are a food conspiracy. The day after Thanksgiving there's all the leftovers, and then there's potato pancakes and, God, Christmas cookies.

Harris: And the national average weight gain between Thanksgiving and Christmas is eight pounds. You need to stay focused, and keep low-carb candies around to keep you from the real thing.

NT: Yes. Pretend chocolate always makes me forget about that box of Ho-Ho's in the pantry. So what happens to your store now that Atkins is crashing?

Harris:We think that low-carb is going to have a comeback. Now there are a lot of people out there who think it's unhealthy, and for anyone who thinks that, I say, "Analyze your diet." The more people take control of what they eat, not what feels good when they're eating, will be best. Low carbing is as healthy as you make it.

E-mail robrt.pela@newtimes.com

« Previous Page
 |
 
1
 
2
 
All
 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
 
Loading...