Captured! By Robots

Every disgruntled, erstwhile band member (except food chain bottom-feeders, drummers) has probably thought, "Fuckin' A. I could build something that plays better than these fools." So it was that in his hubris, Jason Vance forged the instruments of his own doom -- literally. A member of Chicago ska-punkers Blue Meanies in the mid-'90s, Vance decided, "To hell with other musicians" and built an entirely robotic band (as opposed to recruiting one like Lou Perlman). What he didn't plan on was GTRBOT666 (playing a modified Flying V that enables it to fulfill bass and rhythm guitar duties) and DRMBOT0110 (on the kit) -- in a now-familiar story -- overwhelming their creator, inserting a chip into his head and forcing him to tour with them as their minion. While the robots are musicians of estimable precision (and a rather bad attitude), Vance, redubbed JBOT, is the show's focal point as evil scientist/captor/lead man of this comedic punk-metal band. If this is successful, it might prove the death knell of local bars that cater to the already perennially work-challenged musician. But as long as we have Will Smith, I feel pretty good about the safety of our world.