Letters from the issue of December 23, 2004

Rappin' 'bout Inferno

Enlightening rod: I wanted to write in and tell you how much I enjoy the Inferno columns. The most recent one about the ACME Roadhouse in Tempe ("Monday Night Meatmarket," Stephen Lemons, December 16) was enlightening -- even to somebody like me who frequents the Scottsdale club scene a lot. I plan to go there on the first Monday that I'm free because I love the hip-hop scene.

But let me digress a minute. It's truly brilliant to write the Inferno pieces in hip-hop style. That language is permeating our literary landscape. Despite what music purists seem to think, I think rap music is very literary. You certainly can't be a fool to write such insightful rhymes. I grew up in L.A. and came to the Valley to go to ASU, so I know what I'm talking about. I've been listening to rap music since before Snoop and Dre did their first chronic.

But back to Inferno. What I like about it is that it's about the pickup scene at the local spots. It definitely gives both men and women an idea of what they can expect when they go to a club. I would never frequent a club anymore without first reading about it in Inferno; as a young woman, there are some places I wouldn't want to go without hearing about them beforehand.

I also want to know what the men are like, and Kreme usually gives the ladies almost as much of a rundown on that as he does the gentlemen. I was glad to see that Jett decided to go both ways, because she is sizing up the guys (pun intended) more nowadays than she was at the start when she was only interested in being a pillow queen to the butch lesbian crowd.

I really love it that you guys are running pictures with the column now, especially all those on the Web site where I usually read Inferno. Those pictures are worth a million words, I'm telling you; there's no better proof about the clientele a club draws. Anyhow, OGs, keep up the good work!
Kate Hampton, Glendale

News you can use: What's up with the Inferno column?! Why don't you guys ever give us girls some insight about the talent at the clubs? There's way too much talk about all the hot chicks. I don't know which character, Jett or Kreme, is the bigger dawg. It may be Jett, in fact.

Anyhow, please be fair! It's just as important to tell women whether guys are studs or not, or whether they are the usual club-land loser trash. The pictures help, but Kreme always gives us all the dope on chicks and precious little on the dudes. For example, Kreme sometimes comments on the "onions" women have. What about that same feature on the guys? Jett and Kreme, bring me news I can use!
Holly Johnstone, Ahwatukee

We need a rap-to-English dictionary: I have no idea why New Times wastes space on the Inferno column. I've been reading your paper for 30-plus years, and this is the single most dumb-ass feature New Times has ever run.

You've got to realize that only people with shit for brains go to Scottsdale clubs. If they dropped a bomb on that whole Old Town Scottsdale club scene, the PHX (as Kreme idiotically calls it) would be much better off. And what's with all the bad grammar and black lingo in the column? Please print a rap dictionary of terms so that normal people can understand what the fuck that idiot Stephen Lemons [Kreme's alter ego] is trying to say!

The stuff I do understand is bad enough, though. What drivel comes out of the mouths of babes these days. Unless Lemons is making it up? I truly despair for what the world will become when these morons are at the helm in years to come.
Blair Hill, via the Internet

Water-gate

How green is our Valley: It was certainly interesting to discover in New Times that we have plenty of water around here for generations to come -- that politicians like Janet Napolitano have been lying to us by telling us that we must conserve, conserve, conserve because of the nine-year drought ("A Chance to Focus Inward," John Dougherty, December 9). What an enlightening piece of reporting on the water situation -- a real eye-opener that we can prosper just fine (thank you very much) drought or no drought.

And Dougherty poses a good question: Why the fuck don't our politicians require inward growth, rather than allowing developers to screw up our beautiful desert landscape with endless Los Angeles-like suburbs? Haven't we learned anything from our big neighbor to the west?! Can't we please do something to make metro Phoenix a more livable city?
Gordon Hunter, Peoria

Would you like fries with that lake?: I decided years ago that as long as golf courses remain green, the "water shortage" must be fiction. The state has more golf courses than ubiquitous McDonald's restaurants.
George Ziemann, Tempe

In the Doghouse

A different kind of pet deposit: Your article brought back an event that happened some years ago when I went to animal control to adopt a dog ("Bottle Racket," Sarah Fenske, December 9). I live in an apartment, and after I had chosen the animal I wanted to take home, I went up front to fill out the forms. When the attendant noticed that I lived in an apartment, she said I had to have a letter signed by my apartment complex stating it was okay for me to have a pet on the premises. I mean, what damn business is it of animal control's whether I violate the apartment complex's rules?! It seems more and more that the governments in Arizona are in cahoots with businesses to try to squeeze more money out of consumers. The attendant even told me that if I wasn't paying a pet deposit at my complex, I was violating the law. That can't be true, can it?!

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