Minuteman of the Hour

One nation, under Simcox

NT: What does God know about borders?

Simcox: Well, we're a sovereign nation. That means we have borders and laws and we have ways for people to immigrate legally. I'm pro-immigration. But illegal immigration leads to human beings being treated as commodities, sold as cheap labor. It's embarrassing that our president would allow people to die in the desert, and to allow Americans to fall victim to the hardened criminals who cross our borders and prey on us. It's terrible.

NT: So you're not crazy about President Bush's suggestion of a guest worker program? One with amnesty provisions and eventual opportunity for citizenship?

Simcox: It's absurd. We already have that -- it's called green cards. And work visas. [The government] should find a way to match qualified workers with employers who will sponsor them, pay for their housing and insurance, and not leave that up to the American taxpayer. The way it is now, all [an illegal immigrant] has to do is walk into a hospital, and guess who pays for it? Me. You. And the president has turned his back on this reality.

NT: Have you thought about your next move? Maybe you could post yourself in the parking lots of Home Depot stores. They're bursting with probable illegal immigrants.

Simcox: It's already happening. Phase Two will be turning our efforts inward, to employers who are breaking the law by promoting undocumented workers. You'll see the Minutemen protesting at Home Depot, and Wal-Mart is next. Every employer who hires illegals will see our picket lines.

NT: Can the Arizona economy survive without illegal immigrant workers? Who will pick the lettuce?

Simcox: Wait. We're talking about an orderly queue into this country. We're not saying we don't want the workers to come. We need them, but let's make sure they're coming in legally.

NT: What if an illegal alien had a really good excuse for wanting to cross over the border -- like "I think I left the coffee maker on" or "I forgot my keys"?

Simcox: There is no good excuse. Our government just announced that Americans traveling to Canada and Mexico need passports to come back home to the U.S. Look at the hypocrisy. We've pleaded with the government to protect our backyard, and we're enraged. The Minutemen have come up with a way to put boots on the ground. We're not writing any more letters, or testifying before any more congressional hearings. We're forcing them to do their jobs, or we'll do it for them. That's the American way.

NT: I read that the only injury the Minutemen have sustained was by a guy who fell into a hole and dislocated his shoulder.

Simcox: Yes. I am so proud of these people working on this mission. They exhibit the strong character of American people. They perform magnificently.

NT: And they get to wear those cool Border Patrol tee shirts. Can I get one, or are they just for people who work the border?

Simcox: You can buy them, but not from us. Those are from another individual who wanted to support our mission by selling a souvenir.

NT: Do they come in colors other than camouflage?

Simcox: I do not know.

NT: Hmm. So, you guys are armed, right? I mean, in case one of those immigrants gets nasty.

Simcox: Let's just say there are people out there who are free to responsibly execute their Second Amendment rights.

NT: So can I call you vigilantes?

Simcox: Of course not. Look in the dictionary! A vigilante is someone who takes the law into his own hands. A vigilante is judge, jury and executioner, which doesn't come near what we're doing. We're only ensuring law enforcement. Our government and our president have told America that we're at the front of homeland security. Since September 11, they've spent millions of our tax dollars to promote the idea of homeland security. President Bush's words were, "Be vigilant and alert and report suspicious behavior."

NT: Carte blanche from our own president! But aren't you also doing this to gain media attention?

Simcox: You bet. I want to show people in Iowa and New Hampshire that our department of homeland security is the weakest link in national security. We must secure the homeland, as well as the rights of the immigrant by forming an orderly queue into this country. It's the media that's created fear and incited hysteria in the community. Telling people we're vigilantes. We have exposed the hypocrisy of the press.

NT: Well, we try to behave.

Simcox: No. The media is complicit in keeping borders open by labeling people and by printing biased stories in their papers. But Americans will turn their attentions to the media. They'll come to you and say, "Why did you feed us untrue stories about these good people?"

NT: I'd better get busy thinking of something to say in response to that.

Simcox: I would appreciate it if you would.

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