The Great Indoors

If you can't stand the heat, stay in the kitchen -- all summer

The author, circa 1968, during one of his last outdoor summer excursions.
Mary Pela
The author, circa 1968, during one of his last outdoor summer excursions.

I've been told by many that all this hiding from the weather is a sign of mental illness, but I just laugh and eat another Fudgesicle. You guys can slather yourself in SPF 30 and sweat through your cotton-poly blends all you want. Have fun at the lake; say hello to melanoma for me. I'll just stay right where I am: in the dark, my feet resting comfortably in a bucket of ice, humming along with Kool and the Gang while I watch my new DVD of Frosty's Winter Wonderland. I'll see you in November.

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