The Great Indoors

If you can't stand the heat, stay in the kitchen -- all summer

I've been told by many that all this hiding from the weather is a sign of mental illness, but I just laugh and eat another Fudgesicle. You guys can slather yourself in SPF 30 and sweat through your cotton-poly blends all you want. Have fun at the lake; say hello to melanoma for me. I'll just stay right where I am: in the dark, my feet resting comfortably in a bucket of ice, humming along with Kool and the Gang while I watch my new DVD of Frosty's Winter Wonderland. I'll see you in November.

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