It took Windsor more than seven months to retrain himself "to go" in his diapers, he says. He bought hypnosis tapes available online at dpf.com and other sites. "But the tapes aren't enough. You have to want it," he says. So he even went so far as to chain-lock his toilet.
"Visitors weren't so happy about that," he says. "I am incontinent now. I never know when it's going to strike. It's to the point now where if I didn't wear diapers, I wouldn't have the time to get to a bathroom. I wouldn't trust myself anymore without the diapers.
Jeff Newton
The big chair: William Windsor at home.
Jeff Newton
William Windsor's other mode of transport is a Buick
sedan, license plate: DIAPER1.
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"I've tried to close every avenue of escape."
Windsor offers a sort of "how to" on self-diaper-changing:
"Well, first, of course, I have to take off the wet or dirty one," he says. "I have to unfasten the safety pins, the big ones -- which are getting harder and harder to find, by the way. Only a couple of stores have them.
"Then I lay a diaper pad on the table, lay down and clean myself up with some wipes, and let it dry. If I have diaper rash, I'll put on some Desitin. And then just a sprinkling of Johnson & Johnson baby powder," he says, adding that name-brand baby supplies are the one thing he splurges on. "But you don't wanna put on too much baby powder," he adds. "Too much dulls the absorbency."
In his kitchen, Windsor's decorated his refrigerator with block-letter magnets. Today it reads:
BE GOOD BABY
In the cabinets above his sink, there are dozens of jars of Gerber baby food -- yellow squash, vanilla custard, and meat 'n' veggies. He doesn't eat the baby food every day ("I probably eat 50 percent baby food, 50 percent adult food," he says), but it does have its nutritional benefits, he insists.
"I've dieted with baby food before. It's not the best tasting, although some of those desserts are really good. But there's almost zero fat," he says.
"S'ghettis are my favorite. I really don't like the broccoli and cheese.
"That's gross!"
William Windsor isn't too naive to know that some women -- who will insist that they want to be his mommy, no strings attached -- will attempt to dupe him into giving them chunks of his inheritance. Some already have.
Like a woman he calls "Helen," whom he met about a year ago at his apartment complex.
"There aren't too many women who just come up to you and say they wanna be your mommy," Windsor says. "I shoulda known from the beginning."
But Windsor ended up giving Helen little chunks of cash here and there, taking her to the grocery store several times a day, buying cartons of cigarettes and giving her rides at Helen's beck and call. In return, Helen simply called him Baby, played games once in a while, and went along to be photographed at Glamour Shots. Eventually, Windsor stopped answering Helen's calls because he felt like he was being conned, and hasn't seen her in months.
When he returned to Phoenix from Tennessee after his last attempt at a career in country music about seven years ago, he met "Anna," whom he considers his "best mommy ever."
Windsor says he was briefly homeless, lived in a shelter, and finally worked his way -- via a telemarketing job -- back into a small apartment in north Phoenix. He met Anna through mutual acquaintances, and shortly thereafter, he told her about his adult baby urges.
"I always tell women from the beginning," he says.
Anna had a boyfriend, though, and she was hooked on crack, Windsor says. Still, he helped her out with groceries once in a while before eventually allowing her to stay with him. They did crack together, and it wasn't long before Windsor found himself hooked as well.
"She was a great mommy," he says about Anna. But, like many women, Windsor says, she wouldn't change his diapers.
Nor did they have sex. In fact, Windsor says he's been celibate for nine years now. He doesn't even masturbate, he says.
"When I was married, I'd often have sex with my wife while I was wearing the diaper," he explains. "But every time we finished, I felt so dirty, like it was something I wasn't supposed to be doing."
Windsor would then "throw away" all of his diapers, bottles, bibs and dresses, vowing never to do "the baby thing" again. That never lasted more than three months at a time.
"I figured the best way for me to avoid that was to just stop having sex," he says.
Eventually, his relationship with Anna ended because of her drug problems, he says.
Now, he's got a new mommy, although she won't change his diapers or let him breast-feed.
Anita -- who requests her last name not be printed because she fears Child Protective Services might put her on its radar -- is a 44-year-old woman whom Windsor met through mutual friends in the north Phoenix neighborhood he lived two years ago. Anita knew about "the baby thing" before she'd ever met Windsor.
