Crafter Thought

So I'd like to know where you got the notion

NT: Then I will, too.

Rust: And you weave it in and out like this, and you make these little doodads like this. Then you bunch it up, and this is where it gets tricky -- and I'm really bad at this part --

NT: Wait. You're bad at crafts? You're Diane Ribbon!

Mod Podge lodge: Diane Rust in the bowels of her warehouse.
Emily Piraino
Mod Podge lodge: Diane Rust in the bowels of her warehouse.

Rust: I'm creative, but not with my hands. Don't tell anyone. Okay, see how I've got this all bunched up here? Then you just hook this onto this wire wreath form. These are normally used for hot-gluing wreaths onto.

NT: Hot glue.

Rust: Oh, yeah. Hot glue is great. It's been around forever. But listen, don't believe what they tell you. Hot glue is not a permanent fix.

NT: Why do I want to do crafts?

Rust: Why crafting? Because there's nothing better than saying, "I made it myself." Even if it's something that doesn't look great, you don't want to throw it out because somebody made it for you.

NT: So it's art for people with no artistic talent.

Rust: Right. Because there are crafts where virtually all you have to do is cut and glue. Now, you're not scrunching that punchinella up enough there.

NT: Can't I just go to Target and buy a finished wreath?

Rust: No. Now, I can go get our girl Margaret to come help you -- she's the punchinella queen.

NT: That's okay. I'll try to scrunch better. But when I'm done with this wreath, what am I going to do with it?

Rust: Well, if you finish it I was going to give to you to hang in your office.

NT: Oh, that's okay.

Rust: Aw. But you could hang it on the door! The nice thing about it is it's indestructible. It will last forever. And if it gets dusty, you just blow it off with an air compressor.

NT: Okay.

Rust: The hottest craft thing now with kids is cell phones. They all have cell phones, and they cover them with rhinestones. Hot hot hot hot hot! Paris Hilton had one, and that was it. You want to use glue, not Mod Podge.

NT: Excuse me?

Rust: Mod Podge. Mod Podge is forever. It got really hot in the '60s when people were doing decoupage. We go through a lot of Mod Podge. If every house has to have running water, every crafter has to have Mod Podge. I mean, it's just the way it is. Twist that punchinella a little tighter there. That's it. You can ask me some more questions while you do that.

NT: Here's one: Is plaster of Paris really from Paris?

Rust: No! I don't know why they call it that.

NT: You have a whole aisle devoted entirely to plastic feet.

Rust: And doll hands! But to be honest, doll-making is really over with. In the '70s and '80s, when dollmaking was hot, we sold those. What you see there is my leftover inventory. Now, you skipped a hole there.

NT: I noticed that your doll heads are separated by race.

Rust: Right. And this is how old that inventory is -- the boxes [for the African-American doll parts] are marked "Negro." That's what we called them then.

NT: Okay, I'm done with this scrunchy thing. Now what do I do?

Rust: You put the different pieces on the wreath form. No, you put it on the wrong side of that little wire divider there.

NT: I'm sorry I'm such a lousy crafter.

Rust: Well, you probably have other skills. You just keep working at it. There's a whole universe of crafting ideas out there. Are you sure you don't want to take this wreath home?

NT: No, really. That's okay.

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1 comments
Darlene Rappuhn
Darlene Rappuhn

I am trying to locate a pattern for a Squash Blossom necklace made out of small safety pins and beads. A lady at my church was wearing one and I was unable to get her name due to the Homecoming festivities. I saw a comment on this site about them, however, I am not very savvy finding info online. Could you please help me? thank you

 
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