It's perfectly fine to be gay (Rob Halford) or a doddering old fart (Ozzy), but there's simply no crying in metal, unless maybe your drummer bro gets run over by a U-Haul trailer in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. That's why Megadeth front man Dave Mustaine is still a bit of a punch line in the metal community after the much-talked-about, woebegone spectacle he made of himself in last year's Metallica documentary Some Kind of Monster -- y'know, where he tearfully complained about how much he's suffered since getting booted from Hetfield/Ulrich Inc. more than two decades ago (he subsequently blamed devious editing and 9/11 for his emotional outburst). Maybe Mustaine's new baby, the traveling summer festival Gigantour, will help bring fans back into his corner; it's all the noise and mayhem of Ozzfest, but at half the price! A ticket gets you the intricate thrash-metal of Megadeth, the tangled prog-metal of Dream Theater, the exhilarating math-metal of Dillinger Escape Plan, and a handful of other bands that appeal to Fret Shredder Monthly subscribers, including Fear Factory, Nevermore, and Life of Agony (surely Mustaine's favorite group). Just remember to be nice during the big Megadeth sing-along -- it's not "Peace sells . . . but who's crying?"