This article was the worst thing to happen to planet earth since the plague. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
By Ray Stern
By Ray Stern
By New Times
By Amy Silverman
By Stephen Lemons
By Stephen Lemons
By Monica Alonzo
By Chris Parker
"I woke up this morning, still a little drunk, and decided it'd be a good idea to get my belly button pierced," he relates. "I've been flashing it a bit tonight."
We thank Justin for the free show and ease over across to the lounge area in front of the bar. On a catwalk before us are white-booted go-go dancers workin' it to that new Black Eyed Peas joint "My Humps." The one where that babe Fergie's singing "My lovely lady lumps/In the back and in the front." Of course, that track gets all the shorties shakin' it, including this trio of honeys, Adriaana, Cathy, and Kat. They're a frisky lot, so we snap a group shot of them wearing the new Inferno wife-beaters we've been giving out. Then we chat with cute Kat.
"You gals seen any celebs tonight?" queries the Jettster.
"We saw Tommy Lee from far away," she says. "Over on the other side -- at Radius, where DJ AM's spinning."
"Really? We saw him at Suede earlier," Jett relates. "What did you think?"
"Eh," she shrugs. "He's kinda old and skinny. A lot skinnier than I thought he would look."
"You mean, you don't think he's hot?!" cries the J-unit, in horror.
"No, I don't," Kat states emphatically. "I'm not into old, skinny, tattooed guys."
"What about young, fat and horny guys?" I ask, hopefully. "Relative to Tommy, of course."
"Right now, I'm studying to be a pilot, so my textbook is my boyfriend," she says, letting me down easy. "But honestly, the guys I've dated, they all look totally different."
Jett's determined to throw herself at Tommy Lee one more time before the night's out, so we head over to the Radius side of things via this glassed-in catwalk that connects Axis to Radius. On our way over we cross paths with dimes JesLeigh and Evonne. It's too tight up in the spot to really conversate, but let's just say that the copper-toned JesLeigh, a model by trade, has on an outfit that makes her look like she's wearin' her birthday suit and little else. I thought Jett's eyeballs were gonna pop out and rocket across the hall.
It's jammed over at Radius, and Tommy's no longer in sight, though apparently he'd been in Radius' "skybox" earlier. DJ AM's got the joint bumpin', and I'm intrigued to hear a lot of classic rock in his set, like Led Zeppelin, Journey, Nirvana, even Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" mixed in with 21st-century tracks, like OutKast's "Hey Ya" and Gwen Stefani's "Holla Back Girl." Upstairs is too much of a crush, so we head downstairs to the DJ rise in front of the dance floor where AM is spinning. Alas, no Nicole Richie. We soon discover from the CEG crew that she never made it out. Jett's heartbroken, and heads outside for a smoke while I hang back and shoot the breeze with this goateed dude who's manipulating three orange-size see-through spheres in one hand. His name's Ben, and he lives right down the street. Says he had no idea anything was going on tonight and had no idea Tommy Lee was in the building.
"Ben, what the hell are you doing with that shit in your hand?"
"It's called contact juggling," he explains. " It's my goal in life to be a Cirque du Soleil performer. I can juggle eight on my shoulders at one time. I go everywhere with my balls. I haven't left home without them in three years."
"I haven't left home without mine since I was born," I crack. "Sorry, couldn't help myself. So, what do you think of the ladies out here tonight?"
"Let's put it this way: I would pay the cover charge just to stand in line," he responds.
The Jettster reappears, and we head over behind the DJ area to catch AM before he slips into his white stretch limo after his set. This we eventually do, walking him to his ride as we talk.
"So, no Nicole tonight, Adam?" I ask.
"Sorry, but I don't comment on my personal life," he answers, stiffening.
"That's cool," I pause. "I dug the classic rock you were droppin'."
"Yeah, that's my favorite music, pretty much," he replies, brightening with the change of subject. "That and older hip-hop. I try to switch it up."
"Neil Diamond even, are you a big fan of his?"
"Not really, but I do like 'Sweet Caroline,'" he tells us.
"You're pretty much at the top of the DJ game right now; what's your advice to DJs out there trying to make it happen?" I ask.
"Practice, practice, practice," he says, easing into the whip. "And take any job you can get. That's what I did for many, many years. Dues have been paid."