Bible Humpers

Christian science moniker

SAT 11/26
Jumpin' Jesus, thought Aaron Burkey, I'm a friggin' genius! The 35-year-old vocalist/guitarist was searching for the perfect name for his latest band, but the possibilities weren't catchy or distasteful enough. He was considering Kiddiesnuff when he was struck by a revelation: Why not pair the Son of God with what's arguably the vilest word in the English vernacular? Thus, Christfucker was born.

"It came to me one night, and I decided it's the best goddamned thing I ever heard," says Burkey. The malicious moniker is par for the course for the hard-charging power-punk trio, as performances routinely feature Burkey cutting his forehead with broken glass or assaulting bassist Robert Tabler and drummer Cory Wahlen with his mic stand between songs like "I Hate Hippies" or "Get the Fuck Out."

But such nastiness is a double-edged sword, Burkey admits. While such an ignominious name and similarly unpleasant activities might gain the band some notoriety, it may also keep some promoters from booking them. "It might be hard getting gigs with this name, but we've decided if some club owner freaks out, we wouldn't wanna play there anyways." Amen.

You don't know the half of it.
courtesy of Christfucker
You don't know the half of it.
Check out the party dresses at Serenity Catwalk.
courtesy of Alex Garcia
Check out the party dresses at Serenity Catwalk.
Blair
courtesy of www.blairpoetry.com
Blair
Flamenco has its fans.
Flamenco has its fans.

The all-ages show -- which also includes Conflict Resolution, My Doll, General Warning, The Prosthetics, and M.O.M. -- starts at 6:30 p.m. Saturday, November 26, at PHiX, 1113 Grand Avenue. Admission costs $7. Call 602-252-7449. -- Benjamin Leatherman

Model Students
Slinking up the place

SAT 11/26
Merge Modeling Institute is kind of like DeVry, only it trains models instead of future electricians. MMI's latest show-and-tell is the Serenity Catwalk, which slinks into the Holiday Inn Midtown, 4321 North Central, on Saturday, November 26. "I call each show something meaningful," says Institute founder Alex Garcia. "This one is 'Serenity' in memory of one of my aunts, who was really supportive. I remember her always being so serene and quiet." In addition to "theming" each show, Garcia also acts as a hands-on manager. "What I do is everything: photos, makeup, runway . . . I'm a designer, too," he says. Serenity features Garcia's latest creations, as well as designs by Julianne Weidner and Maurilio Ramirez. The show starts at 6:30 p.m., and is followed by a reception celebrating the students' achievements. Tickets range from $7 to $50, with proceeds benefiting the Institute's programs. Call 602-367-0981. -- Julie Peterson

Poetry Hams
It could be verse

WED 11/30
Valley poetic heavyweights put down their lattes and scribble out additional strophes in their chapbooks when the Paper Heart, 750 Grand Avenue, hosts the Anthology Greater Phoenix Poetry Slam on Wednesday, November 30. Ten performance scribes, including Bill Campana, the edgy veteran of the slam scene, and Patrick Hare, known for his growling elocution, will compete in three rounds of original spoken-word poetry for a winner-take-all cash prize of $100. This month's guest performer, the urban folk poet/singer Blair (pictured), is the 2002 National Poetry Slam champion. Blair's also been featured on HBO's Def Poetry Jam and has gigged with Stevie Wonder, and Soul Coughing. The word-slingin' begins at 8 p.m. Admission costs $5. Call 602-262-2020 or visit www.anthology.org. -- Steve Jansen

Pink Flamencos
Clicking up their heels

FRI 11/25
Your choice: You can make a 6,000-mile round-trip trek to Jerez, Spain -- the "cradle of flamenco" -- or take a short drive to Herberger Theater Center to see Dulce Flamenco Internacional, one of the world's finest and most colorful purveyors of the traditional Gypsy dance form. Dulce Flamenco last made a Phoenix pit stop in early '04, and the troupe brings an entirely new choreographic work to the Valley this time around with a program titled "Alegría y Dolor" ("Joy and Pain"). The Flamenco crew performs at 8 p.m. Friday, November 25, in Stage West at the Herberger, 222 East Monroe. Tickets range from $15 to $30. Call 602-252-8497. -- Clay McNear

Civic Pride
Expoetry in motion

11/14-11/27Spider-Man at the Arizona International Auto Show? We could see Batman -- you know, the Batmobile -- but as far as we know, the webslinger never needed any sort of locomotion other than a few tall buildings and that sticky stuff he sprayed all over the place. Nevertheless, the wall-crawler will make a (rather incongruous) cameo at the expo, which is more about super models than superheroes. New 2006 vehicles on display include Honda's totally redesigned Civic, Hummer's H2 SUT, Mercury's Mariner Hybrid, Chevy's HHR, Pontiac's G6 Coupe, Audi's Q7, Lexus' RX 400h, and Ford's F-150 "Eliminator." The Auto Show rolls into Phoenix Civic Plaza, 111 North Third Street, from Thursday, November 24, through Sunday, November 27. Hours are 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Thursday and Sunday, 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday. Admission ranges from $4 to $9. Call 602-626-8710 or visit www.motortrendautoshows.com/phoenix. -- Clay McNear

 
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