If you want to act a fool this holiday season after consuming one too many eggnogs, feel free. Just don't expect to rock the boat and poop on somebody's parade during the APS Fantasy of Lights Holiday Boat Parade on Saturday, December 10. A fleet of more than 40 vessels dolled up in holiday lights -- including sailboats, yachts, pontoon boats and kayaks -- will glide down Tempe Town Lake, Mill Avenue and Rio Salado Parkway. The best decorative cruiser will be awarded the $1,000 Best of Show grand prize. Activities begin at 4 p.m., with Tausala performing its brand of Samoan-based music and interpretive dance. During the jams, luminarias will be available for purchase, and kids can play in the 50-ton snow pile. The boat parade starts at 7 p.m., with fireworks following. Admission is free. Visit www.downtowntempe.com. -- Steve Jansen
Are You Ready for Some Fútbol?
Hungary for Mexican
Soccer isn't just a mere sport. Countries have gone to war over the outcome of contests. If for no other reason than geography, there's little chance of armed conflict erupting when the national men's teams of Mexico and Hungary meet on Wednesday, December 14, at Chase Field, 401 East Jefferson. The Valley's many Hispanic residents -- and passionate soccer moms -- might be the boost the Mexican team needs to gain its first victory in the last of five international contests held as part of Team Mexico's 2005 American tour. Kickoff is at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $21 to $56. Call 480-784-4444. -- Douglas Towne
Swing time in Scottsdale
If you want to play with golf's big dogs, you've got to have the right stuff, and you'll have your pick of the latest and greatest equipment on the planet at Golfest Scottsdale. In addition to spiffy apparel and goodies for the green, the touring fest features a million-dollar hole-in-one contest and guest appearances by luminaries such as 2005 EDS Byron Nelson tourney champion Ted Purdy, "Trick Shot Master" Peter Johncke, and Yoga for Golfers author Katherine Roberts. Put on your game face from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, December 10, and Sunday, December 11, at WestWorld of Scottsdale, 16601 North Pima Road. Admission is $10, $15 at the gate. Advance tickets are available at any Van's Golf Shop location. Call 480-312-6802 or visit www.golfweekgolfest.com/scottsdale. -- Clay McNear